Is one or two days of uncertainty worth ending almost 2 years of a relationship?

So my boyfriend of a year and 8 months broke up with me. he's saying that his reasoning behind it was because looking back at our relationship he's feeling that the reason that he got into the relationship was because he was afraid he would never find one. he also said that he was afraid that he would lose me because he always f***s up. at this point I'm really hurt and confused. I don't understand how you can say that you love someone but say that you're in a relationship with someone that you love because you're afraid you'll never be in a relationship. I just need some insight because I really don't understand.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No I wouldn't end it over that now if it goes on for weeks or months then that's a different story altogether

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This guy sounds weird. I'm sorry that your boyfriend broke up with you, but it sounds like you are better off. His reasons don't really make sense. Like has he ever came to talk to you about his feelings like this before? No one is obligated to stay in a relationship. But he should have at least given you a chance to work things out.

    Sounds to me like he was just not interested in being with you anymore. But there isn't a clear reason why. Perhaps there's something going on with him. Regardless, he was willing to take the chance and break things off with you. Don't dwell too much on his reasons.

    I find when a guy breaks up with me, they always give me some bs reason. They'll say they aren't ready for a relationship (even if we dated for 2 years). Or they want an open relationship (after dating for a year). Or they don't want to get married ever, they say. But then they go on to marry the next girl early on.

    I feel like people don't want to be truly honest, because they don't want to deal with the questions. I get that, but I think people need to have more integrity.

    I think eventually you will look back and be thankful this guy is out of your life. I know it may not seem like it now. But if he was only with you because he was afraid he wouldn't find anyone else, well that's a poor reason to be in a relationship with someone. The guy who is with you should be crazy about you. He should have deep feelings for you and want to spend time with you.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Mmhmm that's really suspicious. Especially considering that relationships become easier to find as a man ages.

    He could have cheated and is now not really interested in continuing the relationship. I would tread carefully.

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  • He's telling you he doesn't love you but he's also a pussy, he wants you to take the pressure off of him by breaking up so he doesn't have to.

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  • I've been dealing with it for over 10 years thanks to Stephen Daugherty I believe.

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  • That's a little ridiculous from an exterior perspective.

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  • He probably cheated on you and can't admit it, so just dump you

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What Girls Said 8

  • He is reaching out and grabbing into thin air for an excuse. Please trust me, I am older and have seen this, and been through some of the most laughable excuses. I am not making light of your situation. Bottom line, he is either getting cold feet at how serious it is getting, he has found someone else, or he simply just doesn't want the commitment. But instead of being honest, he is trying to put it on you! Making you confused. Please don't think something is wrong with you. There isn't. This might hurt you at first, but you should have a conversation with him that goes like this: Thank you for the last 20 months. I have for sure learned much more about you at the end of this relationship that I did at the beginning. Move on, block him, take his number from your phone, don't look or creep him in Social Media, and just NO CONTACT for 2-3 weeks. It might drive you crazy, but if he is unsure, it will drive him more. We truly do learn more about someone at the end of the relationship than at the beginning. You start seeing their flaws. This man doesn't seem too strong. Keep your head up, it will get better. You have to be the strong one. Best of Luck!

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  • I think the novelty and excitement of the relationship wore off and he realized he did not feel a connection with you that remained after 8 years of intense dating. Some guys do this. You should consider that he did you a favour because now you can find a new guy who appreciates you and treats you better than your last.

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  • he was honest so that's good, but I wouldn't stay close friends with him because he did say he got into a relationship with you because he thought he would never get into a relationship

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  • Well, at least he was honest. He does love you enough to break up with you. Had he not told you, he would be stringing you along, and that is NOT love. Overall he does have issues that he should have resolved at the very beginning over a year ago. Not wait till the next 2 years. You have every right to be upset. But this was something that he is responsible for knowing. He got into a relationship with you for all the wrong reasons. I wouldn't say that he loved you then. More so that he learned to love himself and you enough to let this relationship go. Because at the end of the day, you deserve better than this. But at the end of all of this, you need to let this go, let him go and move on. Detach everything from him and let those feelings die. Love is not a feeling, but an emotion and an action. And his actions shows that he did what was right in the end.

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  • its possible that it might cause the end of it because... he did it out of despair and its like you've been used

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  • That sounds like some real bs I understand if he is afraid of losing you but the rest I don't get it

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  • In very sorry, I can imagine how painful those words were when he said them to you. It's quite a cruel thing to say to someone you're supposed to love

    Take a step back and give him space and time to decide what he wants. He's obviously indecisive about what he wants , and is confused about what he feels.

    So distance yourself. Some times people don't realise how valuable you are in their life until they are put in a position to lose you. If he realises he could lose you for good then he may realise just how much you mean to him. If he doesn't, then make the decision for him... by ending it.

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  • If someone admitted to me that they got with me because they never thought they'd find someone, that means they settled for me... and that does not sit well with me, at all. I will not be the "last option" or "worst case scenario" on anyone's list. Plus, after saying that, if he's also constantly messing up, why would I stay with him just because we've been together for x-number of years?

    I'd drop him real quick! He doesn't deserve me if he thinks so lowly of himself that he'd pull me down with him.

    My advice to you is know your worth, and have enough self-respect to know that you deserve someone who will appreciate you, not just settle for you.

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