How do I say goodbye?

I am not here to be lectured. Trust me, I have heard it all and understand where you're coming from. I don't need to hear more of it. So please, keep nasty comments to yourself.

I am a legal woman who has had a few open ended sexual encounters with various legal men this year. I also found out that I am pregnant a couple of months ago. This is actually a highly celebrated pregnancy without any regrets. I am also 100% sure who the father is and we are excited for this adventure.

My question is, how do I end things with the other men without them raising questions. I am extremely careful about these "relationships" and have kept them separate. No one knows me past our encounters, nor any of my friends outside of their circles.

I do not want any of these men trying to claim my child as their own, a DNA test could easily prove them wrong. I do not want these men to disrupt my day to day life. I want a clean break. The issue is that I am actually good friends with each of them. Simply cutting them off without warning would cause them to worry and possibly come snooping and telling them that I am pregnant may have them around causing unwanted stress in my life, risking the baby's and my health during this pregnancy.

My fault here was forming ongoing sexual relationships with men without ever defining the extent. They know I am emotionally unavailable and it was made clear that I was not looking for anything serious, all the while everyone around us assumed we were dating. It is very complicated. I just want to be done with it and raise my child in peace. If I have a good enough reason for going off the radar it will be ok. I just can't come up with that reason on my own.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just ghost.

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    • Ghosting would be easy if they wouldn't show up at my door in two weeks asking questions! Lol

What Girls Said 2

  • Just say you're starting a relationship and need to end your current arrangement. Your baby will be a new relationship and you won't have time for anything else for awhile but it gives you the excuse to be vague and private but firm.

    Also interested in how you're positive of the paternity

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    • Timing. I got pregnant when I was traveling with some friends.

  • You are doing more wrong to cover up the first thing (s) you've done wrong. I feel you should handle it like a mature adult. You should tell these men why. Its not right to just throw people away! You want to live in peace and raise your baby? Then do it. Give yourself some peace, by giving them an explaination. Don't run away from your problems. Stand and face it.

    Also, forgive me for asking, but how are you so sure that this guy is the paternal father?

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    • I'm not running from anything. It's not their business and I don't want it to be their business.

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    • I hope not because that is horrible to rob them and your child of their paternal father because you're so wrapped up in yourself. Having a child has to do with be selfless. You put your needs and wants aside for the sake of said child.

    • Like I said, not looking to be condemned and I'm 100% sure who the father is.

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