Are " I didn't want to get married" and "I didn't want hold you ups" good excuses for breaking up?

We split a month ago. He said he didn't want to get married( I never really asked him too anyways)and he knew I wanted to get married, so he said he left because he didn't want to tie me down. I think this is a lame excuse. Does anyone else agree?

I was his first relationship.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not a lame excuse, but it is poor communication. He came to this conclusion on his own, without meaningful and emotionally candid dialogue with you. Maybe the end result would have been the same. Maybe not. But he should have talked about his feelings while he was having them with you.

    Trust me on that. I'm the same way. I have a feeling. I keep it to myself. I analyze it myself. I devise the logical course of action. I take action. And so rarely does it ever occur to my stupid ass to just sit down and talk about my feelings while I'm having them.

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    • Good answer.

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    • No I don't because it's based on many assumptions in his mind that have yet to be confirmed. If everything he thinks is true that led to his breakup is in fact true, then it is plausible. But only by chance. Sit him down and talk it out. Really really talk it out.

    • Thats the best advice I've read on here and agree totally. I wish I could turn back time and take this advice but seemd to bottle things up before its to late

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What Guys Said 1

  • I wonder if he never wants to get married or doesn't want to marry you in particular. Either way he is doing you a favor by ending it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm in 2 minds about that - on the one hand, if you haven't been dating that long and you didn't really think you could end up marrying him (ie if you were just in it for fun and maybe later you'd actually look for the guy you want to marry) then that's kinda a lame excuse. But even so, it means his heart wasn't really in it, and really you ought to be with someone who really wants to be with you.

    Conversely, if you'd been together a while and you were actually dating him with the possibility of marrying him one day (even if it's not now and even if you don't know; like say when you were single you knew that if you found the right guy you'd want to get married) then he does have a point. You could end up being with him for ages and you might get really attached and want to marry him, and then it'd hurt if he didn't want to marry you - which wouldn't be anything personal because he just wouldn't want to get married. I think it's good to be upfront about what you want from the start, so if you told him you'd like to get married sometime reasonably soon, and he doesn't want to get married, basically he's freeing you up to look for another guy who'll want to get married sometime soon also.

    Although, you don't specify whether you actually do want to get married or if that's just what he thought? How long were you guys together/how serious and hold old was he if it was his first relationship?

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