Why do people break up?

I'm curious as to why there are break ups in relationships. I've never been in one, but I can't help but wonder why a couple would break up after a certain period of time. Things didn't turn out as expected? Their partners do things that the other doesn't like?

It's just that I see them happy and it's hard for me to imagine why they would break up.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are numerous reasons why couples break up. The bad ones of course, being when one of them was cheating or just an asshole in general. I think the gist of it is that people just change. Feelings change the more you grow together. That's what happened with my ex from high school. He & I dated for 6 years & I was certain I would marry him. Then I fell in love with someone else! Wasn't expecting too & I was completely confused. I had no idea you could fall out of love & in love with another person. I was always the "one & only soulmate" type girl when I was younger. But I grew up, changed & now I know.

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    • Thanks for sharing your story. It really helps me understand the situation I was in because there was this girl who fell in love with me but she had a boyfriend. I could "sense" her love for me, but she never revealed it because the situation was entirely unfavorable for such a development. She left a while back but I don't think it's the last time I'll see her.

    • It can be an uncomfortable situation, but that's life! You can either let those uncomfortable situations dictate your life or you can roll with the punches & just try to be a better person than yesterday.

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What Girls Said 14

  • A lot of relationships break up because of pettiness. Most breakups happen right after a relationship turned sexual, which brings forth more drama, heartache, etc. Cheating is one of the main reasons a relationship goes south, lying and deceit just helps give people a reason to leave. But overall, selfishness breaks down a relationship for what it was/wasn't, and lust just helps fuels the course of the relationship to become extremely toxic. If the relationship wasn't sexual, it's because somebody wants to be and the other either isn't ready or never intended to be like that. So it really all depend's on how emotionally and non-emotionally invested the couple was in the relationship. But usually, you can sense it in the air where things are going to fail. And when you have other people getting involved in the relationship discouraging the other about the person, it can also cause a change of feelings, but fleeting feelings often means that there was no love but lust.

    So it's best you educate yourself on the in's and outs of modern dating, because it's either damn if you do, damn if you don't. And you have more than plenty of users everywhere. It's now about weeding out the wheat from the chaff.

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  • I will make sure to make things official only after I made sure we are compatible. So I will break up if his behavior/mentality changes.
    The only reasons why I might break up are:

    - He changes his behavior (negatively) from when we met: ex starts drinking, gambling, becomes abusive towards me or the kids.

    - Disrespects/humiliates me or my family.

    - Disrespects my religion. I don't care if outsiders do it, but if we're going to be together and you will be disrespecting the thing I value the most it's not going to work.

    - Cheating

    - I find out that he's not smart and doesn't have constructive argumentations, pseudo-intellectual ets...

    - Very different political positions. I'm very involved in some political debates and if he is completely opposite of me, I can't do it.

    - Starts disturbing the practicing of my religion. Inciting me to do things against my religion, makes me feel like I will not be religiously or spiritually at ease with him (ex tries to make me drink, tries to turn me Atheist, doesn't respect my religion, tries to convert me to another religion etc...). This is possibly the biggest deal breaker.
    Because if I were to choose him wisely on my religious principles, he would be less likely to do all of the other things I stated ⬆️⬆️⬆️

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  • Feelings change.
    Someone cheats either physically, emotionally or both.
    You want different things for the future.
    Someone's physicality changes - e. g. gains a ton of weight, develops health issues.
    Family/friends interference.
    Lack of time spent together.
    Taking each for granted.
    Lack of love, romance, affection, sex.
    ... and the list goes on...
    It could be any number of reasons !

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  • They get tired/bored of each other
    They fall in love with someone else
    Not enough communication/ spent time together
    There's something about their partner they can't tolerate
    Lack of intimacy

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  • People date to get to know one another better. As you get to know a person you find out that you can be incompatible in a lot of ways.

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  • In my experience it's because the guys can't be honest with me and just dump me after they said everything is fine.

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  • I was told I was his last choice, I don't believe that though. The way he treated me was absolutely amazing

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  • Things can change in the relationship, true colors start to show, they might make the wrong decisions, and many other factors

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  • Cause generally people are dating just for fun, not for love. when they get bored they leave each other

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  • I am trying like hell to figure that out

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  • I think about this all the time! :D

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  • because it doesn't work

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  • I've been broken up with and I still dont know why.. sad as it sounds :(

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  • Sometimes people change , so their feelings change and they gradually just both grow apart. Or their circumstances change which prevents them being together

    Most relationships fail, because they fail to communicate well with each other. Communication in a relationship is like oxygen to life... without it the relationship dies. Also, they don't make compromises or sacrifices for each other . They don't take each others feelings, needs and wants into consideration

    The strength of the love in a relationship is based on how they both overcome challenges life throws at them.

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    • Very interesting, thank you for that.

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah that's a list that is way to long to type out tonight.

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  • They learn more and lose respect.
    Or
    They realize they would rather be with others.
    Or
    They want different things.

    The last is very common.

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    • So for a relationship to last, they must make sacrifices for one another and be on the same page on practically everything?

    • They will have to compromise on some things and accept differences in others. So the question is, on the stuff that really matters to each person, how big are the compromises required? If they are huge gaps on important stuff, it's not going to work. If it's small gaps, compromise can work. If it's unimportant things, they can probably ignore it if they're otherwise happy.

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