I texted him asking if he wanted to have a date night with me since lately all we do is watch tv, have sex, sleep. He declines bc he's tired and has been feeling sick, then I asked him if he was still coming over to stay w me that night and he said he'd rather stay home. I'm feeling rejected at this point so I tell him that I'm not feeling great about him bc of his lack of effort and that I'm trying too hard and that although I understand he's not feeling well/is tired, I need more.
He ignored me the whole time. Finally, he tells me he's not sure about us and needs time to think before we talk about it. Turns out he's upset at me for several things that happened when we first met such as me smoking pot with my friends during Thanksgiving (First time I've smoked since college, I'm 29, so is he) and that I drink too much (I have a stressful job and I'm a mom so yes I like to unwind with wine/whiskey at night), and that he's upset bc I was hanging out w a male neighbor at the guy's apartment the other night (which I told him about bc I'm honest and had nothing to hide, my neighbor is 24, he's like a little bro to me) and he acted like it wasn't a big deal to him. I told him he was breaking my heart bc I had no idea I had done anything wrong and that I loved him and would respect his need for time. His last text was that we would think about things and talk after Christmas (happy face emoji). I'm so conflicted, is he breaking up with me already over this? Or am I overthinking everything? Should I just end things and avoid future heartbreak? Ugh I don't want to lose him yet I feel so judged.
Most Helpful Girl
I'm sorry for your situation. It does seem that he wants to have a serious talk if not break up, from what I see you described. You should definitely bring up (in person) the reasons you did those things. You could explain that the pot is a one time thing, and that it's okay to drink every once in a while. You guys sound like you could have a great relationship, but it could not continue smoothly if you guys do not have a heart-to-heart discussion. Good luck.
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