Ok, very long and sad story, that is finally is catching up with me. I have given up on the man who has given up on me and our unborn child. All dreams, plans, positive feelings, excitement about the future together gone to hell. We can't even stand talking with one another without blaming and dragging each other down emotionally over the phone after somewhat a month of silence. I have been stronger than him until recently when he finally told me he didn't love me. It felt like a relief and set me free in a way, but also hurt me so very much. This is the first time his words and actions didn't contradict each other. Before this came out, we were constantly fighting over who made who feel what... I
admitted, I wasn't perfect and committed to work on my part to make things better... and I am still, but now it is to make things better for our child and myself, than for him and i. I failed so miserably and stepped down to his level of immaturity that I have moved from some years ago and it feels as no one else, but me is letting myself down this time. Those fights and arguments brought out a horrible, selfish, immature, insecure person out of me, the person I was long time ago and worked so hard to move from those qualities. It brought to the light a lot of unresolved issues I truly believed were dealt with as I have been constantly on self development path including professional counselling. Today was my lowest point, as it felt exactly like my ex said for himself, I started regretting the fact I have actually met him at all. Reading tons of articles of how to let the toxic relationship go, most of them say grieving is the best way to move on, and I really want to. I feel so positive about our child and the next chapter of my life becoming a parent and i want to protect these feelings and our baby's well being as much as i can. Even though I spend Christmas day by myself, it was one of the best Christmases in my life knowing about the baby and feeling love and hope.
Most Helpful Girl
Im so happy to hear that. Youve got plenty to look forward to and he doesn't deserve you.1