Im going through a really painful heartbreak. Can someone please comfort me with words right now?

I thought I was feeling good but then I ended up hitting the lows again :(
Every night I wake up in the
Middle and just start tearing up

It just hit me for some reason, I remember our last night together we were cuddling, we had a convo somewhere along the lines of him saying "You know you put yourself in a lot of risk doing this, what if I Turned out to be a bad guy?" when he asked me that I didn't really think of it as anything. I took it for what it is..

we were heading to sleep, and he said "Thank you for everything. For driving me around, for everything." I heard the sadness in his voice.

so for him to just not want anything to do with this after his stay with me is really odd. Those convo we had during our last night, its starting to sense like he was guilty of something unless he was really sad that it's over and he cannot do this whole LDR (England to US is the distance) because its too much. But towards the end of his stay, I could definitely sense he was thinking a LOT. There was so much in his mind that he didn't tell me...

All i know is at the end of it all, after all that I did, and what he did, we are now NOTHING.
I just don't understand. This is our very last convo, I'm the blue bubble and he's the silver one...
Deep down i still wish he would come back and would want to make this work but what are the chances really? 😔

Im going through a really painful heartbreak.<br />Can someone please comfort me with words right now?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • We all have been through some sort of heartbreak. The most important thing to know (from my experience) is1) give space to all parties 2) time can heal 3) people can say things they don't mean. When you are hurt they say things to protect themselves so goodbye now might not mean that at a future date 4) do not play mind games or any sort of game to win him back 5) at a stage we can all look back and see that some people were not meant to be in our lives. It won't feel like that now (I have been there) bit everything in life comes to an end

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    • Thank you so much for this! Made me smile a bit.

      He flew here to see me. We spend time together for 11 days, as he was leaving on his way home catching flights, things became distorted. He said things like we need to plan our next meeting again, then called me babe. Then all of a sudden I heard the word "friends" and that If we don't end up together at least we should be friends.
      It confused me.

      After pouring out my emotions that I want to work this LDR it was bunch of excuses all of a sudden on his end and he even pulled the depression card at me. Finally I cut it off I told him I can't do this, he then said I understand and respect that. All the best

      We haven't heard from each other for 2 days now. Will he be back even though he was fine letting me go 😞

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What Guys Said 9

  • Just when you think your world is crumbling, pause for a with this thought: many cool guys are looking for a girl like you right now.

    In my last breakup, the following worked for me; it could work for you too.

    # Step 1
    Accept you can't switch off your feelings for him like a switch light. Come to terms with your helplessness—your inability to control forces outside your control.

    # Step 2
    Feel the hurtful feelings of breaking up; don't divert your focus from them. Diverting focus from the hurtful feelings slows your recovery.

    # Step 3
    Accept he is no longer with you. Nursing hope and fighting to win her back was a big mistake I made in my first breakup. It only heightens the pain and prolongs the recovery process.

    # Step 4
    Focus on the good memories he brought to your life and on things you'd have loved to experience with him. Following the breakup, I made the mistake to focus on her weaknesses, convincing myself she wasn't my type. I was merely lying to myself because if she wasn't good enough I won't have been with her in the first place.

    # Step 5
    Remove items (e. g. clothes, cosmetics, pictures, etc.) you associate with him. Block and delete all his contact details (e. g. phone number, email address, whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, etc.). No direct or indirect contact with him whatsoever. Block even his closed friends if necessary.

    # Step 6
    While carrying out the above five steps, engage in new or abandoned hobbies. Schedule targets for each hobby to do daily or weekly. If not of my last breakup, I wouldn't have been writing this opinion post now. I took on writing, road/trail running, and cross fitness exercises as hobbies.

    # Step 7
    Draw inspiration from a previous breakup or personal life challenge. I reflected on my very first breakup. It dawn on me I had a new girlfriend months later. I then flashed my mind back to the current breakup. I then questioned myself rhetorically: why am I even feeling sad? It suddenly changes my mood. It's like telling myself I have been through this before, and came out stronger 6 to 12 months.

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  • Stop staying in the past and keep moving forward. I've been in that kind of situation last month and I'm happy now that I've moved on. The only person who can really help you is yourself. You need to cut off all communication if it's really over between the two of you. I can comfort you if you want. Just shoot me a message. I've dealt with situations like this before.

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  • I'd suggest to stop playing the scenario though your head of what may or may not have went wrong. I understand that's not easy and hell we all do it - but ultimately all it does is bring more sadness and pain to you.
    The less you think of him of what was left behind the easier it gets. Tough thing to do I know but it does get much easier everyday. The more you focus away from the pain and instead focus on life it gets better.

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    • Yes but it's like my mind is so obsessed with replaying it. It automatically does it by itself most of the time

    • When you start dwelling on it, force yourself to start thinking - or doing - something else to keep your mind fresh. You can control your thoughts it just takes effort

  • hi. I'm in the same boat. i feel like an idiot cause I carnt move on but the heart wants what the heart wants. its been about ten weeks now and there been the hardest longest weeks I've endured. 28 mths gone like that after I did so much that ment so little. IRS no ldr which I think its harder I don't know though. chances from where I sit hun don't look to bright for u both

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  • Shoot me a message on here if you actually want someone to talk about this with and I'll give ya my kik or somethin'. I don't know how the messaging system works on here but mind helpin' out.

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  • Must of us has pass through this stage. You are best to comfort yourself. Another will come, but do not let the present mistakes come up.

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  • It's so sad when you realized that someone just walked out of your life... The idea of never hearing from that person again is horrible. Like it's not real... You hope that it's not real. You hope something unexpected happens to turn things around and reverse what just happened. Your mind plays memories of why it thinks you made a mistake to let this happen. You look for some reassurance to make sure you made the correct choice and a reason to not just keep saying sorry until they take you back. It's so painful to miss someone you just lost.

    I've learned to try and stay strong and stick to my decision. How ever it plays out, everything has a reason, when you are happy again you will just be happy to be happy again. For now, keep yourself busy, it's really the best solution. You didn't do wrong. You can be happy again. The words is bigger there are so much to still experience, you haven't even tasted a drop in the ocean yet.

    Go get something to do that makes you positive.

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  • i want to be your friend

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