Over the course of the 2 years there were lots of things I was unhappy with. He has major health problems and I always was worried he wouldn't look after himself properly. I'm not 100% sure if he was or wasn't but he wasn't going to his drs check ups. He had lots of pay day loans in the past and lied about it or was shifty about it. He'd got money out for small amounts like 100 dollars if he'd overspent his wages and we were going on holiday for example. He was laid back which was good but I am very ambitious and so he was just working in retail despite having a degree and wasn't actively trying to get a better job for the 2 years I knew him. I also felt like I wanted more effort from him to go out and plan dates every now and then and wanted more affection and stuff from him - but because I had asked him to do it it never felt like he'd made effort on his own back and cared. I felt insecure and like I wanted a lot more sex than he did.
His health condition made him moody at times. For example I took him out for a whole day for his birthday and treated him. Then he snapped at me on the way home. Sounds small but he wouldn't even dance with me at his friend's wedding after spending lots of the day without me. We had a big argument when we got home cos I just want some attention/effort. He hurt my neck over Christmas last year in front of everyone for no good reason. He's got angry and broken things and stormed out the room.
We had a rocky month before we broke up and were arguing to the point where we couldn't go out. I felt really resentful of him and worn out by everything. Despite this I was absolutely blindsided and am still in shock when he broke up with me. I fought at the end for him and tried to fix it but he didn't give me the chance to. He wanted me to stop bringing up issues. I never could talk to him and sort things out simply.
I can't stop thinking about him and miss him