How to end a friendship of benefits?

I dated someone for 4 years, but med studies left me no time to keep up. We agreed to be friends with benefits instead, thinking we'd resume things later anyway. However, my feelings slowly drifted and I now like someone else. Though I'm not technically my ex's girlfriend anymore, I know it'd hurt him, especially due to his depression and sensitive nature. What's a kind way of letting him know? Like I don't know how to start the conversation -any ideas or suggestions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would be honest. He will be hurt whether he's sensitive or not. I am not being funny but you dated for 4 years and now you don't know how to start a conversation about your relationship? Just tell the guy and be straight with him.

    • Thanks for your feedback :) Since we stopped dating, we rarely saw each other and so it's not been the same for a long time. On top of that, he has extreme anxiety and depression issues so I want things to go as smoothly as possible. I'm going to tell him for sure, I just don't know how to bring it up in a conversation.

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    • He will probably ask. This is where he deserves honesty. You need to tell him that your feelings have beome diluted and that you want to try different things. What you had was great but it no longer feels right. Keep it short and sweet.

    • Thanks for all the advice :)!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Honesty is the best policy. You have to tell him that you've moved on. You don't have to elaborate and rub his nose in the fact that there is now someone else in your life. That's none of his business.

    • I do plan to tell him, I'm just not sure how to begin the conversation and what to say. I won't go into detail at all. I just really don't want to hurt him more than I have to, you know?

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    • You stated it perfectly in your initial massage - that the relationship has run its course and your feelings for him have passed. You've determined that it is time to move on with your life and that he should to. I can fully understand your nervous, that's natural. Once you get it out there, the nervousness should pass.

    • Thank you so much :)

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