So this is my first girlfriend and I am 18. Im also her first boyfriend and she is 17. We have been dating for three months and the last two and a half have been amazing. But lately I have felt really unhappy with the way she has been treating me. It seem like I have to initiate everything which is really annoying not just sexually but planning things, texting, and just doing random nice things. I always make sure she's happy at the expense of mine and Im kind of sick of not feeling wanted anymore. Im really not sure if this is normal or not because she is my first. She is indeed my first love but she doesn't make me happy. Also im going away to college next year and she is in high school for one more year. Is it time to break up and go through the rebuilding process and be ready for college? I would absolutely break her heart if I broke up with her and Its hard because hate when she's sad. If I can get some insight that would be amazing. Thank you.
Is it time to break up?
What Girls Said 1
If you are not happy its best to leave, leave now and let her heal.0
What Guys Said 1
Been there, know what you're going through. Almost the exact same situation except I didn't go away for school.
This is your first relationship, you're both young and going to be going through major life changes over the next few years. If it's not going stellar right now, the chances of it lasting forever are slim. Relationships in your late teens and early 20's are usually going to be learning experiences that we go through to find better relationships and become better at having a good relationship (sometimes by knowing what we don't want, based on past experiences and knowing what to avoid)
Of course it's going to hurt to break up, 3 months is a fairly significant amount of time for a first relationship at your age. Break up's are never fun for either person, but usually you can look back after a bit of time has passed and things will be better for both of you than they were before. She will survive, even if she bawls her eyes out for days. But you want to avoid as much of that as possible to make it a sad but respectful and understanding break up.
Does she know how you've been feeling about her lately? Do you think she can sense that you're not happy?
Find a time and place where you can be alone with her for a few hours if it takes that long. Plan the timing so that she has as much time to recover from the break-up before having to go to work or take an important test or go for a job interview. If you know this is going to break her heart, don't make it worse because other parts of her life are hurt because all her attention is on what happened the night before when you broke up with her.
Your timing is pretty convenient with the new year just a few hours away. This is the time of year that almost everybody is reviewing the past year and making new goals and dreaming of the upcoming year. You could approach it as "I've been thinking a lot lately..."
Let her know that you are not happy, don't accuse her of being the reason you're breaking up. Her actions could be the reason, but not her.
If she wants / needs more of an explanation, feel free to lay out the main reasons. Hopefully these don't come as a shock to her, have you been letting her know that these things bother you?
Either way, let her know you're not happy with how the relationship is going and since you're going away for school, it's best that things wind down.
Listen to your heart, you know what's right.
Leave on good terms.1
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