You dated Amber for 5 months but towards the end, you argued almost constantly. Both of you realized that this relationship wasn't working. You initiated The Talk but she agreed and you decided to go your separate ways. Now. she has been talking with that guy Ben who you always thought was a dork. Your friends all know that you have broken up and they are telling you that old saw about plenty of fish in the sea, etc. but it doesn't feel right. You realize that breaking up with Amber was probably a mistake and you never thought it would go this far.
Should you try to remain friends with Amber? Should you talk to her occasionally or maybe even hang out together sometime? Should you remain Facebook friends and follow each other on social media? How would you feel if she blocked you on Facebook? How would you feel if you saw her post a change to her relationship status and she has switched from "single" to "in a relationship" with Mr. Dork?
Is there some rule - perhaps an unwritten rule - that says that you are supposed to remain friends with her? Is that what you really want? How are you going to react when you find out that Amber and her new boyfriend spent the night together? What do you get from remaining friends with her? Is that what you are "supposed" to do?
- Yes, it is expected by everyoneVote A
- Yes, breaking contact with them would be rudeVote B
- Yes, we should be mature enough to salvage something from our relationshipVote C
- No, because if we break up, I'm mad at my exVote D
- No, because if we break up, trying to be friends makes it more difficult to move forwardVote E
- I don't know because I have never had a relationshipVote F
Most Helpful Girl
Personally I don't, because it just brings too much drama into your life and complicates future relationships. I'd view it as disrespectful to my new SO, and I wouldn't want to put him in such an uncomfortable position. My relationship with him would take priority over a friendship with an ex. My new boyfriends feelings would come first
I have no need to remain friends with an ex. I prefer to let go of the past of, what was, and focus on moving on and forward with my life1
Most Helpful Guy
From personal experience, I say just agree you won't kill each other in public. I dated one girl, she was rather immature. She was all about me until she realized that my life has other things in it besides being hammered all the time. Well she accused me of being obsessed with her and all this other stuff until I showed her the nudes she sent. She then cried and admitted she could never be on my level and wanted to be friends. Well she subscribed to the child logic of "lets rewrite this whole situation because I lost" this led to a year of confusion for us. She tried to replace me with a guy who was more apt to her life style which failed miserably and felt lead on because she was acting like nothing ever happened. Then the first time she met a girl I hooked with with return from the air force 3 YEARS AGO she almost goes into cardiac arrest.
It was then I knew exes can never be friends.1