My Ex Still wants to meet up with me after 9 months, but why can't he look for someone else if we're not getting back together?

I know it sounds obvious. He wants sex and hasn't met someone else etc. But we've been broken up for 9 months and I've seen him 4 or 5 times. He wants to cuddle and hold my hand and talk about his day and bring up memories, but he's not a good boyfriend and he knows. he s 33 and used to being alone (no family around, & no proper friends).

Why doesn't he look for someone else though? He feels secure because I understand him but why does he want to be all affectionate? He says things like "this is so nice" when he asks me to lie against him on the sofa. He won't talk about it when I try to message him about it. He's said before maybe he has a soft spot for me & he misses that we always got along. but is it just talk? I've told him no more, then he asks me out for a drink or says he's sorry if he's behaved like an asshole, but he wasn't sure what was going on with us. How can he not be sure, when he gave up the relationship because he's lazy & doesn't want to invest in a relationship.

He wanted to go for a drink over Christmas. I've told him I can't do this. This time I told him again in a long message that he doesn't care really, because if I meet up with him, the next day we won't talk again & I feel he wants to be single, but have someone there, but I just want to move forward. All he replied was "have a great new year R__ x" He hasn't been online since.


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  • LONELY and 1st comfort thoughts turn to the good old days
    HORNY, ditto
    SELF CENTERED, no further investment, nothing to compensate you here

    Instruct him he can be a welcome Penpal and nothing more. Your time/efforts are fully engaged in shopping for a romance, not this dilly dally.

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  • How do you know he's not just lying about not fucking others?

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    • He's quite a shy guy, and I don't think he's that confident about himself. Also I have been with another guy and he knows, so why wouldn't he say if he has. He says he thinks he has the 'manopause' ":/ and hasn't wanted to look. But that was a few months ago he said that. Of course he could be lying like you say

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