Moving out but not moving on. Is staying together after moving out a break up sentence or a relationship saver?

Boyfriend (21) and myself (22) have lived together for 1.5 year. He wants us to move apart. He feels as if he wants to expierence living on his own for the first time. He also wants our relationship to stay at a steady water and not move so serious. He doesn't want us to break up. I'm not sure what to make of what he is saying. So I did decide to move out be next month. However he believes we can be together through this? I guess. I don't know. Your thoughts? Thanks ia!

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22

Most Helpful Guy

  • He's not really ready to live together. The force isn't strong with this one.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In my experiance girls tend to mature a lot quicker then boys so their ready for the big commitments a lot sooner. I think you need to think things through. Have a look at your relationship and decide what you want. you've already decided your gonna move out so now you need to look at your circumstances and whats to happen next. Firstly ask yourself why your the one to move out if it is technically his house then fair enough if it's rented then that's a different story also if you automatically have someplace to go that your gonna be settled in or are you having to move to your own place and start from scratch. If your place Is rented and your having to start from scratch then it's seriously unfair for you to move out and if he wants to live alone he should be the one to move and if he does own the property then he needs to be helping you as much as possible and making it as easy as he can for you those things say a lot about his character.
    Secondly look at possible reasons why it's come to this. Did you chose to live together or were you forced into it by circumstances you couldn't control. I was forced into living with a partner before we were ready it destroyed our realtionship Are you arguing a lot living together. Sometimes it puts pressure on a relationship especially if one person is stuck with all the cooking and cleaning. If you guys living together was forced because of circumstances then it could well be that he wasn't ready and he's realised that and before it causes a problem you can't fix he's had to say something. If you chose to live together then he's obviously having second thoughts and I would be cautious as to his motives for living alone he made a commitment to you and Is now breaking it he's realised he wasn't ready but I would seriously wonder about his ability to comit to myself further down the line if he's gonna be changing his mind.
    Thirdly look as his character. Does he treat you with respect. Does he take care of you and by that I don't mean buy you stuff but rather spend time with you make sacrifices for you be willing to do stuff for you generally care about your happiness and well being before his own and do you do the same for him.

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    • If he's wanting to live apart because he wasn't ready to start with and not because he changed his mind over a comment and he generally does care and is making this as easy as possible then give him benifit of the doubt maybe absence will make the heart grow fonder lol if he's a bit of a jerk by changing his mind about commitments not treating you with respect not making this any easier for you then ask yourself is this relationship going anywhere and is it worth it or are you better of finding closure and moving on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Neither it's just plain stupid

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hmmm living together is a commitment honey, to be honest if my boyfriend ask me to move out because he wants to experience how is to leave alone I WOULD LEAVE HIM ALONE, and break up I mean to me when you're in a relationship is not like school where you can take a winter break no you put up with the good and the bad. But that's just my opinion.

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