Hubby ate all the ice cream. Should I divorce him?

There comes a time in every proud and independent food lover's life where you realize that the greatest food is not pizza-- it's the soft and creamy concoction known as ice cream. When you are feeling bored, have some vanilla. When you are feeling angry, have some chocolate. Feeling passionate? Red Velvet. It's really a 24/7 food. It's calorie count is so high, you could just eat a little and survive on less. A delectable tub could last you weeks. Lettuce is like 5 calories a cup-- just think of how much lettuce you'd have to eat to survive a day in the wild!

And this is PRECISELY why you shouldn't steal the Angels' BEST gift to us low earthlings. We are mortal and need food to survive. Therefore, food is life. Therefore, if you steal food from me, you are stealing LIFE. Think of how much life ice cream gives... My husband practically stole 10 years off my life with each tub. It's abusive, really. I wouldn't steal 10 years of life from my worst enemy, let alone if I had an adorable kawaii-as-hell wife.

I firmly believe ice cream is from angels come down and giving blood transfusions to the food industry. It's holy blood. We walk in the sacred presence of gods when we partake in the holy meal. People say it's from cows, but they must be getting confused with milk. I've had milk before. It's nowhere NEAR as good as ice cream!
Ice cream is there to stop the violence. I've never met someone who said they didn't like ice cream. (Anyone who says they disliked it is lying. You can't hate ice cream.)

This is the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with, so it hurts me to say that he has betrayed my trust. I was under the impression that he was in love with me as much as I was with him. It's baffling to me that he would even think about doing something like this. I would never wish the same on him.

I'm upset to say that our marriage would have to come to an end after his recent actions.

  • Yes. He doesn't deserve your love.
    Vote A
  • Not yet. You need to give him one more chance.
    Vote B
  • He just loves ice cream as much as you do (I would never have his though, unless he shares it).
    Vote C
  • Other (explain)
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
Love is something precious and does not grow on trees. We've been married for two years now and never has there been a time like this. I have compromised so many times by putting my obsession for ice cream aside in order to spend more time with him. I have also offered him ice cream so many times no matter how badly I wanted it, and it's because my love for him goes deeper than my love for ice cream. It's because I wanted him to experience the mouth-watering delicious of ice cream too.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • How dairy (*cough* "dare he *uncough*) do that! Personally speaking, Ice cream (*cough* "I scream" *uncough) whenever someone steals my food, so I understand completely.

    Definitely choosing A here.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've seen a lot of stuff on this site about reasons to dump someone. I think this is the best reason so far. Dump his sorry ass and take half his shit.

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    • LOL what's not a reason to divorce a man and take half his shit? :D

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • Looks like your husband is on thin ice... cream.

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  • Wait till he sleeps and then eat ALL his sweets, during a month, every day.
    That will teach him.
    He keeps no sweets? Offer him a box of chocolates and eat them yourself, behind his back.
    i.istockimg.com/.../...-6422147-emoticon-devil.jpg

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  • You need to think logically here. You can't easily replace mouth watering delicious ice cream but you can always replace a husband!

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  • That is an unforgivable offense.

    OVER 9000 LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE!

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  • He did this to put your love to the test. Kawaiisoodesu.

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  • Yes, divorce him! We can share a tub of chocolate orange ice cream together!!

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  • Kick him in the nads. He'll vomit it up and then you can eat it.

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  • Lmfao damn too much effort for a troll post.

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  • Yes do it.

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  • You should divorce him and marry me. I too share the same passion for heaven's ice.

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  • W. T. F.

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  • I really hope this is a joke.

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  • Marriage can be a rocky road. Very entertaining, my dear. :-)

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  • No don't divorce him.

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  • mhm divorce him
    so he can find someone mature enough to look past things like that

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    • Hey come on. I'm sure this is a question on the lighter side. Enjoy it.

What Girls Said 12

  • Divorce because Willy Wonka is single and there lies your true love. Willy would never take the piss like this and he would never deprive you of your ice cream loves. Its a no brainer !

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  • I can't believe you didn't make him sign a 31 flavors pre-nup! Your spiritual advisor never brought this up before you were united?

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  • That would be very tempting to divorce someone over ice cream because sometimes I want to kill my siblings when they eat me food, but I have to remind myself that my relationship with humans is far more important than food... and I don't want to go to jail.

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  • Lol tell him to get more if he's going to kill it, whoever finishes it should be in charge of getting more

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  • LMAO our future @Ephemera1

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  • no oml

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  • I just love GAG sometimes. by the way innate ice CREAM

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  • Yes, then you'll have more ice cream for yourself

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  • he doesn't deserve your love

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  • *facepalm
    What are you guys, 5

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  • What the fuck is the world coming to in asking such a stupid fucking question.

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  • I mean, y'all have a shared hobby. Don't underestimate that. There's probably even a fetish you could make money off of.

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