There comes a time in every proud and independent food lover's life where you realize that the greatest food is not pizza-- it's the soft and creamy concoction known as ice cream. When you are feeling bored, have some vanilla. When you are feeling angry, have some chocolate. Feeling passionate? Red Velvet. It's really a 24/7 food. It's calorie count is so high, you could just eat a little and survive on less. A delectable tub could last you weeks. Lettuce is like 5 calories a cup-- just think of how much lettuce you'd have to eat to survive a day in the wild!
And this is PRECISELY why you shouldn't steal the Angels' BEST gift to us low earthlings. We are mortal and need food to survive. Therefore, food is life. Therefore, if you steal food from me, you are stealing LIFE. Think of how much life ice cream gives... My husband practically stole 10 years off my life with each tub. It's abusive, really. I wouldn't steal 10 years of life from my worst enemy, let alone if I had an adorable kawaii-as-hell wife.
I firmly believe ice cream is from angels come down and giving blood transfusions to the food industry. It's holy blood. We walk in the sacred presence of gods when we partake in the holy meal. People say it's from cows, but they must be getting confused with milk. I've had milk before. It's nowhere NEAR as good as ice cream!
Ice cream is there to stop the violence. I've never met someone who said they didn't like ice cream. (Anyone who says they disliked it is lying. You can't hate ice cream.)
This is the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with, so it hurts me to say that he has betrayed my trust. I was under the impression that he was in love with me as much as I was with him. It's baffling to me that he would even think about doing something like this. I would never wish the same on him.
I'm upset to say that our marriage would have to come to an end after his recent actions.
- Yes. He doesn't deserve your love.Vote A
- Not yet. You need to give him one more chance.Vote B
- He just loves ice cream as much as you do (I would never have his though, unless he shares it).Vote C
- Other (explain)Vote D
Most Helpful Guy
How dairy (*cough* "dare he *uncough*) do that! Personally speaking, Ice cream (*cough* "I scream" *uncough) whenever someone steals my food, so I understand completely.
Definitely choosing A here.3
Most Helpful Girl
I've seen a lot of stuff on this site about reasons to dump someone. I think this is the best reason so far. Dump his sorry ass and take half his shit.3