My boyfriend and I just broke up last week. It was an impulsive break up. We had a string of great days leading up to it with him telling me how badly he wants a future with me and that I am the love of his life. A fight blew up, where my dramatic ass said things I don't mean like "maybe we should break up" and he'd say "no. I want to stay together" and eventually he just took my untruthful words as a real breakup and that was it. Now, we had an absolutely amazing relationship. Since the beginning we knew it was something very special. I've had many boyfriends, some whom I've loved very much, but nothing compared to this. The way we met and the fact that we've had the same group of friends for nearly a decade yet never knew about each other while we both were dating other people - it felt like the stars aligned. In September I had a miscarriage for an unwanted pregnancy. The ordeal was extremely traumatic for me and left me depressed and easily irritable. Around that time he also found out that the day of our first date, I slept with my then friend with benefits before going on the date. Of course I didn't think a first date would turn into this kind of relationship so I didn't care but I liked him enough after our first date that I cut off all ties with the friends with benefits right after. Still, he couldn't get over that. He developed anxiety over it. It got to the point where I couldn't even joke about anything sexual if it wasn't about him bc he would be reminded and get anxiety. I tried helping him with it but eventually got irritated by how often he was having anxiety over me not even cheating on him. I still would try calming him down but I guess it was apparent in my tone that I was annoyed. So suddenly we started having a big fight once a week, always rooted from this problem. (will continue in update box)
MEN: what is going on with my ex?
We as a couple and as people were great for each other, but the fights always had something to do with my mistake. He said he loved me too much and that the thought of another man doing anything with him so close to him and I meeting made him sick. He then started getting depressed the last few weeks bc he wanted the anxiety to go away and just enjoy our relationship without it. We have talked since the break up. We just talked for 5 hours on the phone. He said that we can't be together +
(2) because I need to get better and heal from the miscarriage and he needs to get better and heal from the anxiety and bad thoughts. He cried a lotttt during our phone call. He said he doesn't want me to hate him and that he doesn't want me to cut off contact with him. I asked if this is goodbye forever, he said that he isn't closing the door and that whatever is meant to happen, will happen. He said right now he's only focusing on him and I getting better and that he's not thinking of +
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