How do I let him know I like him without going too far?

I am talking to this guy right now and I feel like I am not showing him enough hints that I like him in a relationship way, how can I show him I like him in other ways that are not sexual and I don't wanna scare him away also by liking him too much


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Scaring him away by liking him too much?

    Unless you feel that you really are the clingy type, I don't think that can naturally happen. In other words, unless that's really you, you'd have to FORCE that kind of behavior for yourself, let alone have that behavior "accidentally" or naturally happen.

    If you are that type and just don't want to tip him off on it, well, the effort is futile. Why? Because if you really are the clingy type, you'll eventually have a slip-up, down the road, when you're more emotionally invested in the relationship, and you'll just be more hurt. Unless you plan on faking it & controlling your behavior for the rest of your life.

    As far as letting him know, less than 1% of the male population is aware or observant enough to pick up on what you think are "hints".

    Any more than a blind bat can see in a pitch black room. That's how guys are.

    Guys can "listen", guys can "feel", but if you think eye-contact, smiling or your body language is going to communicate ANYTHING to him; you're just fooling yourself, wasting your time, and setting yourself up for more frustration & heartbreak.

    It's not how men communicate! Men communicate VERBALLY & PHYSICALLY, not non-verbally. Male communication is direct. That's how they're used to GIVING information, and that's also the form of communication they're more receptive to RECEIVING information in.

    If two guys have a problem, they either fist fight, wrestle, hit each other, spit on each other, insult each other directly, and argue logically until a victor emerges. That's how men work. There's no back-stabbing, cat & mouse social-circle games being played indirectly to get at the other while saving face. That's the domain of girls. Guys don't communicate that way.

    When girls watch soap operas, they're analyzing the ways the characters are manipulating each others' emotions or social relationships, and learning new strategies to get what they want by doing the same. When guys watch soaps, they think the plot is stupid & want to watch something else.

    Guys talk about sports, politics, business, law, etc. because they are interested in direct real forms of power; over indirect abstract forms of power.

    The way to speak his language (man-ese) is to communicate directly to him, verbally (so he can hear you) and physically (so he can feel you - though not necessarily sexually).

    Words & touch go a very long way with guys. Talking to him and touching him communicates to him that he's at the very least, NOT someone you DON'T WANT around you. This makes him feel safe, that you don't think he's ugly, annoying, a loser, etc.

    That's really all you need to establish with a guy. From there on, he'll start to become more perceptive to your interest in him. As he does, he'll also start communicating his interest in you; but unlike you, he'll do so more directly.

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    • "Talking to him and touching him communicates to him that he's at the very least, NOT someone you DON'T WANT around you. This makes him feel safe, that you don't think he's ugly, annoying, a loser, etc."

      That is so true times 9000. I always love Jdcpa's advice.

    • Show All
    • Yep Brando.There's this girl I like, but I always felt insecure with my looks and what to say and what if I blanked out and etc. One day she starts talking to me about a random subject, I respond back, make her laugh a few times, and that's enough right there to say "Ok, so I'm not annoying/ugly/bothersome to her, guess ill try talking to her in the future now :)"

    • A-f***ing-men. This sh*t should be required reading for girls.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I believe you should be subtle about it.

    Ask him to come out when you go out with friends. Talk and flirt with him. See how he acts, read his body language. And I hope he buys it and starts making physical moves on you.

    Then I hope he kisses you.

    If you straight up telling him how you feel, he may think 'oh great, that was easy' OR 'What did I do to make her want me? I don't care for her too much'.

    If I went up to a girl and told her how I felt, what would she do? Most likely reject me and stick me in the friends zone. So that's what I'm trying to get at here - he may stick you in his friend zone while he hunts for a challenging girl. In which he MAY come back to you when he doesn't find anyone else, aka you're a backup plan.

    Don't make yourself too easy - let him figure you out on where you stand. That's how to play the 'game'.

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  • I agree with just about everything that jdcpa said, although not every girl I know is trying to back stab and manipulate the people around her, I think. One of three things is happening, 1) your "hints" are too subtle and he's not getting it, 2) he gets the signals but is still shy about asking you out, or 3) he gets it but doesn't want to go out with you.

    Just flirt a little harder, make sure to touch him in a friendly way when you see him next, a tap on the shoulder, gentle push, even a hug when he shows up or is about to leave can be enough.

    Secondly, play with your hair (especially if you have long hair) and give him compliments. Compliments will cure a shy man since it not only sends the signal that you are probably flirting but it gives him confidence in himself. If your already doing these things then I would say he isn't interested in dating you right now/has someone else in his sights.

    As for scaring him away too much unless your flirting too hard, and he never had any desire to date you that is not going to happen.

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  • You come out and tell him.

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  • This is an easy one. You tell him exactly what you just told us. Either he feels the same way, or he doesn't. Either he is scared of commitment and leaves (which he would have done eventually anyways then) or he doesn't.

    It doesn't get any simpler than that.

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  • Guys are idiots by design and some of us a pretty thick in getting the hint, luckily for me at 40, I have out grown this handicap. Anyhow, if you want to let him know that you like him without scaring him off or making it sound like you want to bang him, just tell him. Find the place when you both are hanging out not a lot of people around, and just talk to him like you would address a 5 year old with a boner

    Na, seriously, talk to him.,..talking works...being clear and forward. Guys won't get mixed messages and just DON"T be clingy. Treat him like one of the guys and once in a while ignore him and don't call him. It will drive him nuts and/or keep him in a safe zone.

    Mike

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    • Find the place when you both are hanging out not a lot of people around, and just talk to him like you would address a 5 year old with a boner

      HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA HILARIOUS ...yet true lol

    • Yeah but like you said I don't wanna be seen as clingy and to attached and I don't wanna make him think that I'm one of those "why by the cow when you can get the milk for free type of girls , I want him to know I like him in a realtionship type of way since he's older I don't want to come off as sounding like a little crush when I tell him

  • Guys are stupid :) You need to be obvious. Just do what you would do if you wanted to be friends. Do stuff together. Laugh. Smile. Tell him you think he's awesome. When the moment is right just say "This might sounds crazy but I really want to kiss you". Then unless he screams and runs away, KISS HIM! If he likes you as much as you like him, he will want to be with you and continue to hang out...and kiss :)

    It takes some guts! On my second date with my now girlfriend we went running together on a trail and when we were done and chatting she said something about wanting to be a special person in my life. I gathered up my courage and said, "There is one thing you can do to instantly become special to me...you can kiss me." And she did :)

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  • If the magic isn't happening, then it just isn't going to happen. You know that moment right before you kiss someone for the first time? Well I would go for that. If it doesn't happen then it isn't meant to be.

    If you're going to hook up, make sure it is for one of two reasons:

    1.) A strong attraction that can lead to love.

    2.) Good ol' fashioned carnal lust.

    If it is for the first reason, let things play out and see where it goes. If it is for the second reason, be bolder and be more flirty. Find excuses to rub up next to him and provoke that kissing moment. That kiss will change everything, for the better or for the worse.

    Feel free to ask me anything,

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  • Just tell him, sometimes guys just don't get it. Be direct and tell him. If he don't feel the same way just stay friends.

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  • Try this , everyother day wear a dress and cute panties and matching bra. Then he will want to come around I guarantee you.

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  • ask him if likes u

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  • Being friendly, flirting, touch, fun give him lots of attention...

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What Girls Said 3

  • When you say you don't think you are showing enough hints, does this really mean he isn't reacting in the way you would like? I'd say, find a few other guys to enjoy the company of because this one guy may have someone else in mind.

    Don't go buying him anything because he may not like you.

    Just ask. Is it true that you like one of the chics in blahblahblah sorority? (make something up) if he says no, then follow up with, who do you like?

    The point is sometimes its not about hints. Sometimes,its about getting them to say it.

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  • there's no such thing as going too far. just the difference in being desparate and knowing what you want.

    relationship IS sexual. but it's also sentual. show the best quality of yourself but pace yourself so that he would want more and more.

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  • It's good that you are asking for non-sexual ways to show interest. Sexual ways will just get you going down the wrong path with a guy. It's not like they need any help thinking of you sexually anyways.

    Make sure you are making eye contact with him, that is powerful. Your smile is also powerful. Don't just smile all the time but when you first see him, take a second, look him in the eye and then smile. It shows a touch more sincerity than smiling full blown all the time. Ask him questions about himself and pay attention to his answers so that in the future you will remember these details and he will notice you remembered what he said. Just don't ask him a bunch of questions as if you are interrogating. Finally, when the timing is right, little touches make a difference. I would usually touch a guy briefly on the arm, say when he says something funny and I am laughing and then touch him.

    Be aware that you can only do so much, in the end the ball will be in his court. You may hint away and get no response because he is not interested in a relationship. If do the above and you get no response from him in a month or so, I would say it is time to move on. Good luck!

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    • That is the same thing we are supposed to do with girls. LMAO :D

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