me and my girlfriend dated for 4 months and broke up just 2 weeks ago because she wasn't feeling anything. we used to talk 24/7 and ran out of things to talk about. I gave her everything she wanted in the relationship and I was there for her every time. but now when I asked her out again she says she won't be in the relationship as much as I'll be. we have not talked to each other for a week now. She told me we can be friends for now and if things get better then we can go out again.
Most Helpful Guy
Stop focusing on getting her back and start focusing on getting on with your life. Seriously, I know it sounds backwards, but you should know by now that that's how most things in life really work. If there's any chance that she'll "see the light" and be interested again, it'll be because of what happens next.
Here are some of my thoughts:
*This is about HER
Keep in mind that this is about HER and not YOU right now. So, anything about YOU (how you're hurt, how you messed up, how you want her back ETC.) will only push her further away. If you really like her, you should want her to be happy even if that means NOT being in a serious relationship with you. Put your neediness (and ego) aside and focus on her being happy.
*Agree with her
So, if she says, "This isn't working. I think we should be friends." You say, "You're right. That's a great idea." I know that you're programming tells you that you must convince her that she's wrong about you, but that doesn't work and is probably one of the main reasons (I'm right and you're wrong) that she doesn't like you IN THAT WAY any longer. If you say, "But I'll change." "I can be better." "Maybe it's because I need to do more of_________ or___________." This is also something she doesn't like about you (pressure and neediness) and you're digging yourself an even bigger hole by doing MORE OF IT.
Agreeing also shows that you're actually LISTENING to what she's trying to tell you. Yet, another reason that she probably broke up with you in the first place (she didn't feel LISTENED to).
*Give her SPACE and TIME TO THINK!
Instead of reminding her about how being with you is great (by continuously talking to her), show her what's it's like to be WITHOUT you.
Limit the time you talk with her by being cordial when you see her but no more friendly attempts to chat. She knows what you're thinking while you're trying to talk to her and it's not helping your cause.
The longer you force her to focus on YOU, the longer it will take her to decide if she's made the right decision in NOT being with you (in a serious relationship) right now. And, like most things YOU want but can't have; once you have them you're not as excited as when you DON'T have them...because, usually, it's more about the fact that you CAN get her back than actually HAVING HER BACK.
*Start seeing other women IMMEDIATELY!
You may think that you'll ruin your chances and that she'll think you don't care and don't need her, when she finds out. But look at it this way; has her knowing that you DO care and DO need her worked in getting her back so far?
She'll respect you much more (and find you more attractive) if she knows that you're smart enough to realize that the two of you might not be right for each other and that you're confident enough to dust yourself off when something doesn't work and move on with your life.
She just might be interested in a guy like THAT!1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE