How can he say it hurts him if he was the one who ended things?

Question in title. I don't understand this. Is that even possible?

He ended the relationship for reasons I'm not gonna mention because it's personal; He's been going through some rough patches in his life, work, etc. He still wants to remain friends because he still considers me a friend. In his words, "You're still my friend. I like you. I didn't end things because I hated you."

We had a great relationship and got along very well.

He said ending it was a very hard decision for him and that it pains him to end things between us.

He gave me closure, for which I'm thankful for. He's made it unable for me to hate him, even if I really wanted to :'( But still, that doesn't mean I'm hurting any less.

I'm a roller coaster of emotions right now. I'm in so much pain. So many questions... I just want my heart and mind to be quiet already! :'( :'( :'(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's kind of like having to say goodbye to a close friend who hurt you badly in some way. They love you and care about you, however either you're bad for them, or they're bad for you, forcing them to end things. Even when the person needs to say goodbye and actually does it, they never actually want to. They do it because they have to, and it really hurts to know that they must end something that is good or something that was once good but is now bad. The nostalgia that people can feel can bring a person to tears, as that once great memory of something has now crumbled to dust, and that's always painful to know.

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    • What you said reminds me of this saying that i saw some time ago...
      www.lovethispic.com/.../...-t-Mean-I-Wanted-To.jpg

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    • Anyway, thank you for responding and for your kind words.

    • Always happy to help a friend in need

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because he does care. But just because you love a person, doesn't mean you have to be with them. If he has a lot of problems that will cause the issues with the relationship, then better now that wait it out until it becomes so unhealthy. At that point. If he already knew he had issues, why did he get into dating you in the first place? That is what I would like to know. However, at the same time, I don't think being in contact is the right decision right now. I'm not saying that you should cut all contact. I'm saying that until you get yourself and emotions on healthier levels, you need to separate from him for the time.

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    • We started dating in 2015. Things were fine then. He started having these rough patches, i. e. Financial problems, sometimes Aug 2016.

    • He can't handle it and the stress load of the relationship in general.

    • Yea :( unfortunately, not.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm in this situation right now, I had to end it because it was not healthy anymore. It was really hard because I still care, something happened and I had to make that hard decision. I imagine that he is in a similar boat.

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    • Nothing bad happened between us. He said it's just certain circumstances in his life right now that is making him come to this difficult decision. I know he's been going through rough times, but I didn't think it'd cause him to end our relationship :'(

What Girls Said 1

  • Relationships end for various reasons. Maybe his life is complicated right now, like you said. The pain will heal in time. At least he was honest with you!

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    • Yes, his life is complicated right now and has been for awhile. He was going through some rough times with his work and financially. He felt bad whenever I felt alone and "abandoned" because he said he never meant to abandon me but that circumstances were such and he had no choice.

      The fact that he was straight with me and gave me closure put me a bit more at ease, I think. He's been talking with me and answering the 101 questions I throw at him because he said he understands that it's hard and how it was hard for him to come to that decision too.

      I know the pain will heal in time but until then, I feel so tortured, especially when I see or hear things that remind me of him/us... the memories and all. It's not my first breakup in life but still, it never gets easier :(

      It's kinda nice I guess that we're still in each other's lives but I don't know... It just feels different and it's still painful.

      Thank you for responding. I appreciate your kind words.

    • It IS hard. And sometimes the transition period is the hardest. It will pass...

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