Would you stop dating someone if you found out they are against gay marriage?

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for seven months. Up until last week there was little to nothing about her that I could complain about. She is smart, committed, and outgoing. When gay marriage was legalized, I posted something on Facebook. I was against it at the time. I said "As some of you are aware, I am morally opposed to gay marriage. However, there is nothing I can do now, because this is a SCOTUS ruling. History has unfortunately chosen to proceed in the direction that I don't want it to. I'm just going to have to accept defeat like a man."

Last week my girlfriend discovered this post and confronted me about it. It was like she thought I cheated on her or something. She said that she wanted to break up with me for being against gay marriage. I told her that I evolved on the issue a couple months later. She apologized, I apologized, and we forgave each other. Three hours ago, I realized that because she was willing to break up with my over my original stance on gay marriage, she might not be the accepting woman I thought she was. I am worried that her reaction to the situation means that she has a personality that will compromise our relationship. Unfortunately, it's too late at night to call her, and talk about this. My anxiety is out of control, and I need an answer now.

I know people tend to say stupid things when they are emotional, but I am still worried that she might have been serious. Would you break up with someone over a simple political disagreement? Is being against gay marriage really all that bad of an opinion? Is this normal? Is my girlfriend's personality not what I originally thought it was? I really love this woman. I need your help.

Updates:
I've since talked to my girlfriend. I asked this question, because I am suffering from relationship OCD (that's for another day). Her grandmother had fallen down the stairs the day before and we were on our way to visit her. She claims she only reacted the way she did, because she was stressed (she has anxiety too). Since I've been in that situation before, it's easy for me to empathize with her. I am glad we have good communication skills. I'm worried that our relationship will fail (OCD).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know if I would necessarily end the relationship but I definitely would have opened the discussion to see where we both stand. We don't have to 100% agree but if we were at complete opposite ends of the spectrum it would cause problems down the line.

    My husband and I rightly disagree about a few sensitive issues so if we discuss them it's done respectfully and when we aren't tired or hungry haha. It's not a deal breaker and we try not to let it get heated

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Be careful bro. I'd advice you to break up with her. The signs are starting to show what kind of person she is, a"deserter". If she can threaten to break up with you due to minor issues that don't even relate to any of you, you better be careful.

    I know of many couples who don't even have the same religion but married for over 30 years, but your girlfriend is threatening to leave because of you not loving homos? This is asides the fact that it was about something you posted a long time ago.

    These are the qualities women who leave their husbands taking half his savings, properties, house and kids. These sort of women can't compromise. They'll end it all over a minor difference. Be wise bro. I don't want another guy here on GAG ranting after going MGTOW due to divorce.

    If she can end it so easily, it means she believes she has a lot of better options out there, and doesn't see it as a big deal finding another dude in a second to replace you If she senses any inconsistencies or differences with you.

    You should sit yourself down and ask yourself, could you truly go on a lifelong journey and covenant that is marriage with a girlfriend like the one that you have?

    Be wise bro, there are soo many girls out there who understand the many sacrifices and compromises that need to be made in a relationship.

    Dump her now that she has revealed how she truly is, and find yourself a good girl.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 9

  • Yes, I would. I mean, ignoring that I think it kinda makes someone a bit of a shitty person, I'm bisexual. I like women and I'd be very happy to marry one. I don't think I'd be compatible with someone who thought that was morally wrong.

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  • I believe in equal rights and have no issue with gay marriage because I believe in "live and let live" but I also wouldn't break up with someone bc of that especially if I'm in love... Unless you said something awful or violent about the LGBT then I'd probably break up because not only are you offensive, you're also scary and violent with your views.

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  • Being against gay marriage, for me, is kind of a big deal. My best friend for 10 years is a gay guy and it raises a red flag when someone isn't accepting of the lgbt community. I wouldn't break up necessarily, but I would have talked to them about it. Maybe you should discuss it about her, and see where it goes. I hope it all goes well.

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  • I absolutely could not be in a relationship with someone who didn't support gay marriage.

    Here's why: I actually consider this to be a moral issue, and I would take this to mean that our morals don't align--which is a big no-no in a relationship for me.

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  • So everyone has "button issues,", that is issues that we feel strongly about. You (and she) should do some self-evaluation, (go deep bro!) and determine what issues are deal-breakers and what issues you can live with. That might be a deal-breaker for you, but not her, or vis a vis. These are personal, private, moral issues that you or she would not be willing to compromise on. Not that you couldn't have differing opinions, just that your differing opinions could cause s wedge down the road. For me, supporting gay/LGBT, not on my radar, it just goes sgdinst my moral code. But I'm not s hater, and don't condone any type of violence or bigotry toward anyone no matter what they believe. But if they chose to be gay or bi in our relationship=deal breaker.

    Know yourself first. Good luck!

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  • God created men for women and vice versa. Gay marriage goes against Gods law and our own bodies and the the way they were made for. It goes against the bible. I doubt she is a Christian. You should get yourself a Christian girl.

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  • Don't date her anymore - if she will dump you over that - she will dump you for the dumbest reasons.

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  • There is nothing wrong with having a different opinion. I won't break up but I would definitely have a discussion with him because I don't find anything wrong with gay marriage. even if he doesn't agree with me fully it's alright but if he is all no this is all wrong I strongly disagree nd blah blah that would cause a little problem. so I suggest talk to her. your relationship is more important. all the best.

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  • No they are free to think so they can have different opinion

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What Guys Said 13

  • She indeed is not an accepting woman if a difference in political opinion, especially one that does not affect her at all, is enough for her to propose breaking up.

    Dude, if not this, sooner or later there will be another pretty much minor issue that she will whine about.

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  • Interesting that you would question whether or not she was an accepting woman when her entire issue revolves around you not being an accepting man.

    What if you still felt that way? You can view it as an overreaction, but she's now wondering if her boyfriend is still bigoted. She's probably wondering what other social issues you may not agree with

    To me, questioning someone's intolerance of intolerance is a bit of projection. Like you are now trying to steal the moral high ground from her.

    To answer your exact question, it would depend on various factors, but there's a good chance I would want to break up. I don't function well around social conservatism.

    Just like if I were dating a moderately religious girl for several months and she eventually found out I was an atheist, I would totally understand why she may want to end things.

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  • You can have your own opinion. If she threatens to break up with you because of a difference in opinion, she's being a bigot. You simply stated that you don't fully support gay marriages, and that's fine. Anyone can state their opinion as long as they don't act violently according to them.

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  • I wouldn't break up with her unless she was a radical but I wouldn't take her seriously anymore. I have two reasons for this:
    1. I don't want a woman who doesn't know how to mind her own business. Unless you're a homosexual, gay marriage literally has NOTHING to do with you.
    2. A closed-minded woman would not be a good wife for me. She would just hold me back. I don't need or want that in my life.

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  • Dump her.

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  • It wouldn't matter to me one way or another. But to me gay marriage is a non-issue. They've had the opportunity of civil partnerships for a while now. What's marriage but a civil partnership?

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  • It really doesn't matter

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  • No, because I am against gay marriage too

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  • Never, if she is against it, is ok by me

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  • no people can think what they want

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  • How old are you?

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  • I would stop dating someone if the supported gay marriage. I would never be in a relationship with a liberal. It won't work. Those are moral issues that will cause major problems when you have kids.

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  • No I'm not a feminist

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