Cheating signs? Help!

My guy used to accuse me of sleeping with other guys while we were apart from each other every time we talked on the phone. He knows I would never do it but he keeps asking me anyway & when I say no he would say " I know you have, its not like you would tell me anyway" .

Now, he's away again but never attacks me for sleeping with other guys. He said he loved me and would never do that to me. He doesn't make an effort to call me as much as he should since were apart. Is this just another cover up mechanism for cheating?

please help!

Updates:
Yeah he used to accuse me of cheating before a lot & then I found out he did. But my question now is that he doesn't accuse me of cheating anymore... does that mean he's not or is it another way of him hiding that he is?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it could be another cover up mechanism for cheating but truthfully, I think you should leave him. He doesn't trust you and it doesn't sound like he's a trustworthy person. It sounds to me like you don't trust him anymore either. This. Is. Bad.

    Trust should be one of the most important tings in any relationship and this guy clearly doesn't trust you or respect you. Seriously what kind of an asshole says something like "I know you have, its not like you would tell me anyway"? That's beyond paranoid. It's just plain rude and cold and bordering on abusive.

    Honestly I say you should grab him by the face some day and say something like "I'm fucking tired of this shit, learn to trust me, or this will never work. If you don't stop accusing me of cheating, I'm fucking leaving you.". He might react badly to this. He might not. honestly I knew one girl who said that and her boyfriend hit her for it. If he actually hits you, then you know better, and you don't even have to wait. Just leave him right there.

    Honestly though I seriously think that this guy probably doesn't deserve the warning or second chance, I personally think you should leave him ASAP and never look back. But if you want to give him a chance just take the path I chose you above. He might change for a while but he might revert back, and I'm pretty sure he will. You know what to do if he does.

    I wish you best of luck in all this.

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    • Probably. Honestly though with his past jealousy, seeming lack of caring, and combines with the fact that he shows no interest and makes no effort to call, he's probably still at it.

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    • He claims "he cares more then I know" & before he left he threw the love bomb on me...

    • I generally operate under the belief that if they cheat on you once they'll just do it again especially if you give them a second chance.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Am having the same problem with my girl,but probably,i dnt cheat on her,but I call and text my casual girlfriends,i hear a lot about her which I ain't sure whether its true or false that she f***s other guys,but I tell her and she tells me that I should trust or learn 2 do that 2 her...so if its a guilty pleasure for him being so rude,probably you better find yourself another trustworthy boyfriend or watsoever...

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  • It depends on the kind of guy he is. If he is kind of an asshole I would say yes, its a cover up. BUT if he is a nice guy who never screams at you or anything I think that you should watch out because usually the assholes bring up sh*t to make girls look bad and themselves better. He was probably hurt when he was accusing you but if he was over it he would of talked to you about it. Not just been over it out of the blue.

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  • leave him. why put up with bullsh*t.

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  • When a guy cheats and the girlfriend finds out and decides to stay in the relationship their is a danger that the girl might decide to even things up so to speak, if he is accusing you of cheating to cover up the fact that he has been cheating he might try something else...

    Some signs of cheating

    You get a std from him

    he buys new underwear or shaves down their

    protective or mobile phone email fb or ms account

    online dating site memberships

    overtime and interstate travel

    new moves

    different behaviour hugging style etc

    new moves in the bedroom

    he calls out Tracey when your name is Jane

    he might be more nice to you to compensate for guilt

    lots of other little things if he cheated in the past he will most likely cheat in the futre accept it or move on. Studies have shown 50 to 80% of mean cheat compares to 30 to 50% of women..

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What Girls Said 7

  • Usually the ones who accuse their sig. other of cheating all the time are really the ones cheating. They do it from guilt and also because if they can bring themselves to cheat, they think you can to. It's not always the case. But I once had a friend who's boyfriend cheated on her ALL the time. And he accused her of cheating everyday.

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    • Couldn't agree more, my ex accused me of cheating with a girl I just met 10 minutes before she accused me. Later found out she cheated on me with 2 other guys.

  • I think that he accused you on purpose and did it over and over again to guilt you into admitting it if you had cheated.. I think he wants to know and probably hopes that you did because he feels like that will excuse his cheating.. And so that he doesn't feel bad.. If he cheats and you cheat as well he will feel like its OK bcz you did it too and you deserve to be cheated on.. He now probably doesn't find the need to ask you anymore because he doesn't need to guilt you into telling him that you did(provided you actually did) because you already found out abt him and its no longer a secret.. He probably feels like he can do whatever he wants and you would still be with him..

    *proof: you found out he cheated and your still with him aren't you ? Did you even confront him about it or did you just find out and kept it to yourself ?

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  • It's called projection, Honey. He's accusing you of doing what he's doing.

    Get out of it ~ he will only hurt you. Yes, he is hiding who he is... but he can't do it for long. You will catch him again but do not be surprised. He has told you who he is. Sorry.

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  • I actually learned about this in psychology class and although this is not always the case it is quite possible that he is acting this way because it is a defense mechanism to cover up for him cheating. He might be accusing you of cheating because he is the one that is cheating and rather than owning up to it and having to feel bad about it he decides instead to blame you for doing it because if he is doing it than he believes that you would be doing it too.

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  • yeah I mean because look at like this who takin up his time you ain't so that leave you to think the anther b***h is

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  • thats kinda hard go to where his at or call him block at wired times that he want think you'll be callin him just to hear what's going on if that don't work just tell him how you feel girl

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  • people who irrationally accuse others are usually guilty themselves. add to the fact that he's done it himself in the past. once someone cheats on you they are highly likely to do it again. that's why the old phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" is so commonly used. do you really want to spend your time waiting for him to do it again?

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