Was I too harsh on him?

Me and this guy were dating on and off for a year. Most of the breakups were my doing because I had a lot going on in my life and I couldn't make the time to be with him or anyone. He always stuck around and waited for me, even when other women were flirty with him and he could have bounced at any time.

He was a virgin when I met him and I have had more experience. One of the last times we broke up was because I told him I couldn't see myself having sex with him. We stopped talking after that and we got back together a few weeks later and everything was cool but he confessed that he had sex with some girl while we were broken up. I was really heartbroken, and hurt by that. I asked him why he waited so long to tell me, he told me he was waiting for the right time (he waited two weeks into our relationship to tell me). I told him that I don't like guys lying, and hiding things from me and I told I him I couldn't be with him anymore, but still wanted to be his friend.

We talked a few weeks after that I told him what I meant was that I couldn't see us having sex at the time because of us both living at home, I'm a single mom and its hard to find a sitter, etc. Basically, it was a misunderstanding, but I still feel hurt and I don't want to get back with him.

Updates:
He told me he only had sex with that random girl because he was "tired of being a virgin". I told him he was pathetic.
I understand that it's partially my fault to ending things a lot and not being clear on what I meant, but why did he have to wait so long to tell me? He even lied about still being a virgin before he told me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you didn't have time to be with him or anyone else, why'd you agree to date him? You pretty much totally ignored his emotions, stomped on them with cleats, and kicked him as you walked away. Now you're mad that he did something with someone else *while you were apart, btw* and had the guts to even tell you? He didn't have to. It was probably his last attempt to be honest with you. He tried to explain in his own way. It wasn't enough for you. I feel sorry for him; I understand your position being a single mom, but you really shouldn't have dated until you were ready. I suspect the outcome would have been quite different.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He may have lied about sleeping with another girl because you told him you wouldn't have sex with him and he thought it was because he said he was a virgin. If this guy has tried that hard to get with you when he had other options - I don't think he would easily sleep with another girl.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You've already said he has no shortage of other options, so why would you expect him to just take that? Impossible

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  • If it happened while you two were split up, it's none of your business.

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  • I'm surprised he got over that, if he has.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

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