How do I handle a "relationship" being over?

Break Up & Divorce
I want to apologize for the length but I am in a state of incredibly strong mixing shitty emotions.

So, unfortunately out of all the first experiences I've had in life, this one is probably the worst. I think I'm in love with my booty call? I'm 19 and I met him at a party where we hooked up then he reeled me into becoming his booty call for about 3 months or so. I had no idea what I was doing I was just going along with it and was happy I was finally getting some action. I fell for him, hard.. I actually am going to therapy because I would be crying during class, school, every morning, every night.. I don't know if it's love or infatuation or if it's just because he was technically my "first" but I can't stop feeling like shit.

I told my therapist all of this and she said the next time I talk to her within 3 weeks I have to get closure so I can move on. My plan was to go over and see him, tell him how I feel, then just end it from there. So when he contacted me (I've only contacted him first once everything else was initiated by him) I told him I would go over when I was done with my homework, but then he told me let's just hang out another night because he was falling asleep.. I said ok.

I really hated this "waiting" period, so I told myself if he didn't contact me in 2 weeks before my appointment then I'm done. Well now it's been two weeks and I've never felt worse. I just feel really empty and a part of me wants to resent him. But I just can't because he really didn't do anything wrong. I'm trying to take it as a learning experience and not blame myself/regret but I can't help it.

I don't want to cry over this.. and I feel really fucking stupid for how I feel when I know he's probably having fun with another girl at this exact moment. It's just really hard.. I know this wasn't a real relationship and I feel guilty for making this dramatic. I really just don't know what/who else to turn to or do.
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How do I handle a "relationship" being over?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Don't feel like you have to process all of this at light speed, some people takes months or years , and some others are having fun in a few hours, so take your time, have your mourning period and find friends who want to listen to you, there's no secret formula or a single act that will make you move on, so my suggestion is for you to not be too hard on yourself, and when you're ready, go out and meet new people, that's the only way to see that he is not the only man who can make you Happy, best of luck

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    • thank you. i really do want to find someone that makes me happy and i can have for more than just a few hours a night.

      Reply

    • No one deserves to be reduced to their uses, I remember I dated a girl, she once told me she was with me cause she felt safe and knew I wouldn't cheat on her, I felt insulted, so I banged her sister and two of her cousins, ok the last part was a joke, but it was really sad to be reduced to one attribute,
      So in your case, you have a lot more to give than letting a guy use you for sex, and you will find someone who is ready to be with you, it doesn't have to be today though, maybe take a few weeks

      Reply

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've went through something similar. Here's my advice. Get a paper and pen and write down the pros and cons of staying in this and out. I cam guarantee there is more bad then good. I also want you to make a note for yourself and put it somewhere you can see it every morning. Write down the reasons why you are more than just a booty call and you deserve more than that. I also want you to learn your lesson and remember that once you sleep with a man, there is no undoing of it so please think about it very good before you next time. Good luck honey I hope I helped😘

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • For some people when they have their first sexual experience and lose their virginity it's very easy for them to get attached to that person that they had the encounter with. It's definitely something difficult to think about because sometimes people only want to be with one person for the rest of their lives. If he hasn't contacted you then it's a sign that he's really not putting too much of an importance into what you have to say. The best thing to do is just smile and learn from this experience. Love is out there. people come into our lives for a reason and its to learn. they might not be there forever but just enjoy the experience.

    Don't be afraid to hit that follow button!

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  • It hurts when that asshole cut you loose just don't do anything stupid like abnormal drunk or grudge fuck eat some ice cream and cry and then get some more ice cream and finish the poor me crap cuz that's what it is now open yourself up for a new love if you drop your line in the water you're sure to catch another fish hopefully not another carp so good luck and good hunting to you and keep your chin up at all times and smile like you mean it your going to be better off without the bottom feeder !!!

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  • Perhaps you should end it over the phone?

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    • what's there to end? he made it clear he really doesn't care to hang out with me much anymore for whatever reason. i'm sure he'll probably pop up again when he's lonely, horny, and can't find anyone else. i don't want to deal with it anymore.

      Reply

    • You said you wanted closure but don't know how to get it. So I proposed doing it over the phone.

      Reply

What Girls Said 1

  • Just remember that breakups are a part of life. Now you know what you can handle from it so you are stronger and more confident as a result. Shit, I just broke up with my first a few weeks ago and I thought I was more over it than I was and that was long distance. I cared more than he did. We both can get over it but that only happens with time. Good on you for getting a therapist though! That should help you because you are gonna go through a wide range of emotions, trust me.

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