I want to apologize for the length but I am in a state of incredibly strong mixing shitty emotions.
So, unfortunately out of all the first experiences I've had in life, this one is probably the worst. I think I'm in love with my booty call? I'm 19 and I met him at a party where we hooked up then he reeled me into becoming his booty call for about 3 months or so. I had no idea what I was doing I was just going along with it and was happy I was finally getting some action. I fell for him, hard.. I actually am going to therapy because I would be crying during class, school, every morning, every night.. I don't know if it's love or infatuation or if it's just because he was technically my "first" but I can't stop feeling like shit.
I told my therapist all of this and she said the next time I talk to her within 3 weeks I have to get closure so I can move on. My plan was to go over and see him, tell him how I feel, then just end it from there. So when he contacted me (I've only contacted him first once everything else was initiated by him) I told him I would go over when I was done with my homework, but then he told me let's just hang out another night because he was falling asleep.. I said ok.
I really hated this "waiting" period, so I told myself if he didn't contact me in 2 weeks before my appointment then I'm done. Well now it's been two weeks and I've never felt worse. I just feel really empty and a part of me wants to resent him. But I just can't because he really didn't do anything wrong. I'm trying to take it as a learning experience and not blame myself/regret but I can't help it.
I don't want to cry over this.. and I feel really fucking stupid for how I feel when I know he's probably having fun with another girl at this exact moment. It's just really hard.. I know this wasn't a real relationship and I feel guilty for making this dramatic. I really just don't know what/who else to turn to or do.
How do I handle a "relationship" being over?
Updates:
Recommended Questions
Did you ever think of getting divorced? How to get over an ex who has "ghosted" you? How can I end things with my girlfriend without seriously hurting her? If someone avoids dating due to long distance, is it really because there not interested? Has Anyone Never Spoken To Their Ex Again? Or How Would You Feel About That?
What Guys Said 3
What Girls Said 1
Recommended myTakes
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
thank you. i really do want to find someone that makes me happy and i can have for more than just a few hours a night.