I want to apologize for the length but I am in a state of incredibly strong mixing shitty emotions.
So, unfortunately out of all the first experiences I've had in life, this one is probably the worst. I think I'm in love with my booty call? I'm 19 and I met him at a party where we hooked up then he reeled me into becoming his booty call for about 3 months or so. I had no idea what I was doing I was just going along with it and was happy I was finally getting some action. I fell for him, hard.. I actually am going to therapy because I would be crying during class, school, every morning, every night.. I don't know if it's love or infatuation or if it's just because he was technically my "first" but I can't stop feeling like shit.
I told my therapist all of this and she said the next time I talk to her within 3 weeks I have to get closure so I can move on. My plan was to go over and see him, tell him how I feel, then just end it from there. So when he contacted me (I've only contacted him first once everything else was initiated by him) I told him I would go over when I was done with my homework, but then he told me let's just hang out another night because he was falling asleep.. I said ok.
I really hated this "waiting" period, so I told myself if he didn't contact me in 2 weeks before my appointment then I'm done. Well now it's been two weeks and I've never felt worse. I just feel really empty and a part of me wants to resent him. But I just can't because he really didn't do anything wrong. I'm trying to take it as a learning experience and not blame myself/regret but I can't help it.
I don't want to cry over this.. and I feel really fucking stupid for how I feel when I know he's probably having fun with another girl at this exact moment. It's just really hard.. I know this wasn't a real relationship and I feel guilty for making this dramatic. I really just don't know what/who else to turn to or do.
Most Helpful Guy
It hurts when that asshole cut you loose just don't do anything stupid like abnormal drunk or grudge fuck eat some ice cream and cry and then get some more ice cream and finish the poor me crap cuz that's what it is now open yourself up for a new love if you drop your line in the water you're sure to catch another fish hopefully not another carp so good luck and good hunting to you and keep your chin up at all times and smile like you mean it your going to be better off without the bottom feeder !!!1
Most Helpful Girl
I've went through something similar. Here's my advice. Get a paper and pen and write down the pros and cons of staying in this and out. I cam guarantee there is more bad then good. I also want you to make a note for yourself and put it somewhere you can see it every morning. Write down the reasons why you are more than just a booty call and you deserve more than that. I also want you to learn your lesson and remember that once you sleep with a man, there is no undoing of it so please think about it very good before you next time. Good luck honey I hope I helped😘0