He left me for his ex 2 months ago why can't I just move on from this rejection?

I met him when I was 19 he used me for sex and left me when I told him I was homeless. I saw him again around the end of 2015 and for some reason i gave him another chance in my life. As we started dating he started to tell me about the new girl he met while we lost contact as he likes to call it. He told me how she used him for his money and he found her diary where she wrote horrible things about him and she was sleeping with a lot of guys but not him. Everyday he would play these heart break songs and i could see the pain in his eyes as he song along. He started comparing her to me i would ask him why he loved me and he would say things like you have a nice personality my ex had a ugly one. I then knew he wasn't over her. He never looked me in my eyes when we kissed and only wanted to have sex with me doggy style and i think i actually heard him say her name once and that he wanted to marry her. Well she came back before her bday this December and he droped me like a bad habit im just so hurt so confused and i really dont want to live anymore. I got back in school got a job and im still not feeling better i dont want him back i hate myself for letting myself be treated that way i can't even listen to music anymore this has ruined my life the little confidence i had is gone and i can't seem to get it back. I've always been the ugly sister or picked last i was even nominated the ugliest girl on the bus once and all those feelings has came to the surface again guys always leave me for other girls even if they treat them badly they rather be with them than me. I just need help moving on i want to write him this letter for clouser but i dont think i should he's happy im hurting i wish i was her why am i always being rejected and forgotten i gave him everything new shoes sex whenevet he wanted even helped him when he blew all his money gambling but i dont want anyone like that in my life i just want to feel normal again... Please help


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your self esteem has been dealt a blow by the fact that he could return to someone who fucked him over regularly like that. You'll be able to recover once you realize that he returned to her because HE has low self esteem of his own-or he wouldn't have returned to someone he KNOWS will keep jerking him around.

    • That does help me but it's hard to even listen to music without thinking about him thinking about her while im right there. I don't want to workout because i feel like im doing it for him and not me. School is great work is great but i still feel pain when i wake up and before i go to sleep. Do you know anuything i can do to feel confident again im thinking about buying a dirt bike & learning to ride this summer i just need some ideas

    • Honey, its gonna hurt. That's normal. I know its not right, but it IS normal. Its going to take time... its a cliche, but its true. What do you like doing? Engage in it, full speed ahead... distraction works. Its gonna take time.

  • you need to just take a deep breath a couple fuck yous to him and live. go find someone that likes you for who you truly are and only than will you be happy.


What Girls Said 1

  • Rejection is so painful , it can lower your self- worth. You can start to feel worthless , unwanted and unlovable. Although it's painful right now , you will move on from it if you cut all means of contact with him and focus on rebuilding your life, and becoming a stronger person. Try to concentrate on being dependent on yourself. Improve aspects of your life that drag you down , and have a negative effect on you emotionally

    You stated you hate yourself for letting him treat you that way, but just try to use this opportunity to become more perceptive, and to have a stronger ability to read people. You trusted him, but your trust was misplaced... that's a flaw in his character , not yours. . The way he treated is a reflection of who he is as a person, not you

    I wouldn't write him a letter. That'll just cause you prolonged pain. Burn your bridges with him , and focus on YOU. Look on the rejection as a redirection to a better life. You'd never find future happiness with him. ❤

    • I just started back school and work and even though its great he's always on my mind i gave him all of me to end up with nothing and it dosent help my ex before him left me for his ex as well and i told him this and he did it to me again. Im just so tired of being hurt but i dont want to give up on love i have a good heart i have so much love to give im a really good person who will do anything for anyone in need but im just not good looking enough i guess i was so confident before i met him again i taught myself to play bball and had many friends & kids that admired me everyone knew my name then i got with him and lost myself again nothing excites me anymore ill be getting a car soon and my own place but im still not happy for myself Its unfair i keep putting myself down like this but i dont know how to be happy again

    • I'm very sorry for what you went through , and for how you are feeling ❤

      You will be happy again, but it just feels out of reach right now, because of what you've been through with this guy. I admire you for making changes in your life, that's not always easy to do. It shows you have motivation in you.

      If you cut all contact with him, you'll find it easier to move in from the hurt he's caused you. It'll help you to focus on your life. You seem like a very nice person so you will eventually find a guy who views you as precious, and feels lucky to have you in his life.

      Try to create new opportunities for yourself , so you meet new people , and only surround yourself with people who respect you and treat you kindly

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