Ex fiance flashbacks/Erotic Dreams?

How do I make it stop? I haven't been sleeping properly for months and it's hurting me, I keep imagining him, the more I try not to think about it, the more the dreams occur. Any ideas on what to do before going to bed to reduce these dreams/nightmares?

Updates:
It's making me scared of closing my eyes and sleeping because all I think about is him and it makes me sick, so I try not to sleep in case I dream of him again.
I need to have sex and forget about it, lol ;)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • All I can suggest is that before you go to bed you talk to your current partner if you have one, and make sure that he/she reassures that they love you and, they understand why it's happening.

    If you have a ipod touch/iPhone I suggest a app called Pzizz Energiser and Pzizz Sleep, this can be used before and after said dreams and they will calm you down really fast, providing you give them a chance.

    The main thing is you have to realize that dreams are dreams, it's what you think in the waking world that truly counts.

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What Guys Said 5

  • You need something else to occupy your mind. The more you try not to think about something, the more it will stick with you. Try and do something that will help you sleep but keep you busy, exercising, cooking, etc... something where you are focused on what you are doing and not just on what you don't want to think about.

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  • If you haven't told your husband about it, I suggest you do it. If he's like most guys, he'll understand. With him understanding, I think part of you won't care about the dreams anymore.

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    • I have made my current boyfriend aware of the dreams, he is very supportive and helps me relax before I go to sleep, it has helped although not stopped the dreams, thanks for your response.

  • Sadly there is no quick fix for this. Even if you're consciously disgusted with him, subconsciously you still have to get over him. Remember: the brain is primarily a memory retrieval device. Deleting old memories is near impossible, rather create enough new memory files to become the new dominant focus. You can only "forget" the old by focusing on the new.

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    • I see, so I must focus more on my current partner, to drown out old memories and make new replacement memories as a dominant focus. Very sound advice :) Thank you for your reply.

    • And "having sex to forget about it" is not what I had in mind!!! You're already having erotic dreams, so go hiking for a weekend with a friend, or anything completely off topic. Seriously!

  • a good way to condition your brain to stop doing things is to laugh about it. resist no feelings.

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    • Is that because when we resit/suppress the feelings it will only become worse? They don't go away because they want to (or have to) be dealt with?

    • It's simple cognition, influenced by introverted thoughts

      when you resist a feeling it supports your own belief that you are, and when you try to feel a certain way you will feel the opposite because you are supporting your own belief that you're not. it's something your attention shouldn't even be focused on, tell yourself it's okay however I feel. then act and think in line with how you want your life to be.

  • why don't you fulfill your sexual fantasies with your partner?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Oh,well I don't know if you have a boyfriend or a husband,If you not,try to flirt with other boys,spend time with other boys. However,if you do have a partner,talk to him about it, and I'm sure that will kinda help.Also,spend more and more time with him,so the most of the time you will think more about ur present partner,and slowly, you will see a big progress on your dreams.

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