I don't know who to pick. Suggestions?

I was dating this boy for 6 months, and it was really good, but got really dramatic. He was a little controlling at times and made me cry often, but never cheated on me, I was his first girlfriend. We were long distance, his parents did not want him to date until after college (mind you, we are both 22 years old) and he would never say "I love you".. but we had some really good times, and he cared about me tons, he really wanted the best for me. He broke up with me about 2 months ago to get his stuff together.. and we haven't spoke in awhile. Then this new guy comes into the picture, and he's great. We do really cool things together, but I made it clear I'm not ready to quite be a "couple" yet. He doesn't want to wait, and he wants to date like, right now. Well, my ex starts texting me and wants to get back together now that he has his "stuff" in order.. but he didn't talk to me for nearly two months up until now when I have started hanging out with someone new. I don't want to hurt anyone. I feel horrible for hanging out with someone new, but I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did. My ex has not even spoke to another girl, and here I am, spending weekends with this other guy. I was honest and told my ex about him, and it hurt him. Well, me and the new guy went on a weekend trip, and it ended in a horrible fight because he didn't like my friends. We didn't speak the whole night, and I was drunk that night and texted my ex telling him I was sorry or moving on so fast, it may have been a mistake, and I said we can be friends, and my ex was thrilled. The new guy calls me the next day, and we have a 2 hour conversation of him apologizing for acting the way he did, claiming to have some anger issues from 2 years of deployment. Now I have both of them wanting to be with me, and I don't even know what I want. I've been honest with both of them, and the fact that there is the ex and the new guy, neither of them seem to care. But the new guy said that he isn't gonna wait around, and he will move onto someone new quickly if I decide I don't want to date him. And my ex has not dated anyone since me. I sound like a horrible slut, and I truly feel like it. I hate hurting people, this decision has been keeping me up late at night, and I'm going to hurt someone, and be hurt either way. But I don't want to leave anyone hanging and need to make a choice fast. I honestly did not think that my ex was gonna come back. Any suggestions on who seems like the better guy? Please, no badgering of how awful I am, I already feel bad enough.. and I'm trying to look out for everyone's feelings before mine.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • hey...first of all...dear you have done nothing wrong and actually I think you are really sweet because you are thinking that much before making any decisions...well...as I read ur story I think they both are kinda good guys...thing is there is one who left you when he was in some pressure and then the other guy, he wanna move on quickly...it's really hard to choose between two guys who are not showing any sense of responsibility. But if you still loves ur ex then go with him because you have known him better and if you think that there's not that kind of feeling which you had earlier for him then you need to leave him.

    other guy is okay but one thing is awkward that he doesn't like ur friends. Make sure that ur friendship with others doesn't get effected because of him. A relationship is about adjustments. not compromises.

    take care...and tell me if you can say something more about those guys, about their nature.

    bye

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What Girls Said 1

  • I just have to say you are not a slut, you are honest w/both men and yourself. You don't know what you want, so there is NOT a problem with you dating around until you know what you want. To me these men are not being fair to you by pressuring you...you should be on your own and tell them both you are not going to be pressured into a decision you need time to make. If they love you they will be there...if not then it was not meant to be. I don't mean to tell you what to do, but it seems you are missing the fact that these men are looking at this like a contest and want to win rather than thinking of you! So...ask yourself does your ex make you happy or are you just comfie w/him. Then ask yourself is the new guy someone you really like or are you just flattered that he likes you and wants you and makes you feel wanted when your ex did not? Be honest with yourself and look at yourself w/higher regard...you were single and did not do ANYTHING wrong! Good luck and remember think of yourself when making the decision!

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