How do I get him over his ex?

I've been seeing this guy for a few months now. We started casually, then were exclusive. I wanted to be in a relationship, he didn't so we ended things. A few weeks later, he asked me out officially to be his girlfriend.

Here' the problem: his ex. He was crazy in love with her and her with him, but she moved away. He was planning on moving in with her etc, but he ended up cheating on her, and they broke up. He's been dealing with this for a long time- guilt etc. We started seeing each other maybe 3 months after they broke up and have been together ever since. My problem now is that he is still in love with her, but I know he likes me and seems to want to move on. Why would he ask me out otherwise when we were already over? He chose to take the plunge in another relationship when he told me he was never going to do that again. And now, I'm worried that he'll never fall for me, or that he's too scared to fall in love again for fear of messing up. She's been contacting him, and I know he responds when he's drunk. I don't know what to do. The last time I brought it up he got extremely angry and told me to "let it be, nothing is going to happen since she's so far away etc". Am I just being a dumb girl?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Without sounding harsh, he is with you you take his mind off his ex, you are more of a distraction. If I was in your shoes you should walk away, it's not right for you to be second best and if they are still in contact he is basically already messing you around. You seem like a nice girl, if you are able to deal with his rubbish. You are handing to get hurt, just dust him off and move on. Find someone without baggage. Goodluck.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like right now he might be using you to distract himself, but he ultimately he still wants to be with her. Maybe he needs more closure in the situation.

    He may be trying to move on, but something is stopping him. It will probably just take some more time, and you will be the one to help him get over her and let it go.

    Good luck.

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