Relationship question?

Ok, after 27 years, my gal bailed because she said the relationship wasn't going anywhere..

We decided mutually not to get married many years ago, so I let it lie.

After 27 years, she just cut out, said I wasn't giving her enough of my time, (I work 60+ hours a week and she was unemployed), so I had little time to spend overall, and I went fishing once a week with my buddy.

We are potentially "Dating" again, but I'm looking for advice from the ladies especially, what do you think is really going on here? Am I wasting my time?

I really had my poop in a group, I'm a homeowner, good job, and paid for everything she needed, fixed her cars, and did it all without much help from her. Why in the hell would she bail?


Most Helpful Girl

  • From the sounds of it, it sounds like she is sticking with you until she can find someone better, or to see what comes along next.
    27 years is a long time to be with someone. Chances are she hid her loss of interest years ago, and stuck with you because you provide her with a security (and everything else) that she needs, has and wants/ Even if she desn't feel the same way about you anymore, she still has you there, and you to get her what she needs, and to take care of her.

    It is up to you to try the relationship again, but if she had issues the first time that came out of no where like that, and never bothered bringing it up, or talking about it, chances are she will frown upon something again and again and choose to repeate the same thing.
    You have your life together pretty good. You have a good job, a source of income, a place of your own, and you spending your earnings on her is just another reason for her to stick around. She sounds like she could be using you for what you have to offer, and taking advantage of your feelings, as she is well aware how you feel about her.

    I would recommend thinking this over. If you try the relationship again, let her purchase and work towards things to help herself. And don't let her get you feeling down about not granting her enough of your time. You're doing everything you can for this girl, and after that many years of being with you, to bail on you for that isn't appropriate.
    I hope you can think it through and decide what is best for yourself. Always take your own happiness into consideration before anyone else's.
    Best wishes!

    • Well. I found out she's been using an app on her phone to hide her phone usage. She said she did it because she knew I was looking, which I learned from her. I told her that that was enough to finish things for me, and that she had a month to move her stuff out. I'll be sitting in an empty house alone, but dammit, I'll know where I stand.

      She's screwed without me, and she knows it. I don't know why she had to play games with me, all I wanted was for her to honor her promise to earn our lives together, and she just holds that against me.

      She says that I didn't pay enough attention to her, I told her that I was angry with her, much like she got "tired of my shit" and moved herself to her sister's house.

      Odd extra, she hasn't paid her sister one dime of rent yet, and I think it's funny. I warned her.

      Anyhow, I guess this is the closure that I needed, she will be here tonight to pack some of her belongings, I told her she has a month to get it all out.

      Her loss.

    • Show All
    • It's not your fault. You gave her everything you could, and you worked hard for the things you have now in your life. You provided her with your effort, time, commitment, and you gave her so much more. Its a real shame she chose to end something when she had it good.

      Somewhere along the way she lost interest, and that is on her to bring up and address those issues with you, not to hide them and visit dating sites behind your back. Unfortunately peoples feelings can and do change, but to take that step and bail on 27 years is nonesense.
      Its certainly her loss. Everyone hopes to find a committed stable partner in the future, to grow with and share their life with. Its a shame she ruined things with you, but her choices displayed who she clearly is.
      Let her go, let things be, and distance yourself to take time to heal. I can't imagine the pain this brings, but make yourself happy and do what you can.

      Dont give any thought to her, or let her have the satisfaction of upsetting you

    • Nope. This shit is over. I'm not even gonna be up tonight while she's here packing. Told her to be quiet since I had to work tomorrow... 😂

      I'm not playing the games anymore. I've been paying her cell bill and car insurance. If there's not a check on the table in the morning, (given there's a table), I'll cut that shit off too.

      Tired of playing the fool.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I too left after 20+ years. We both worked, but he was never home and I was sad and lonely for over 10 years. I finally realized it would never change. I'm much happier now. Money is not everything. Giving of your time and attention is so important.

    • Like I said though, she didn't work, so I really had to pull the hours to make ends meet. And
      I was pretty angry about her unemployment for two reasons, first, she'd promised that I wouldn't be alone with the financial burden since it was nearly beyond my means to purchase a home for our family, second, there was no reason she couldn't work, our youngest child is 16, and she's plenty healthy enough to work.

      I finally told her to consider living elsewhere if she hadn't considered working. She did both two months later.

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