Dad passed away from cancer and yet I am still thinking about my ex?

Hi, I have posted here a few times about some issues I have been having the past few months.

Here are the cliffs of my relationship
-coworker (different departments)
-dated for 5-6 months
-she ended it in October saying she wanted space/confused about her feelings
-she broke up a week after I found out my dad's diagnosis of cancer

Fast forward to now and unfortunately my dad passed away last week. I have been going through the stages of mourning but my head is in so many different directions.

To make things complicated, my ex has reached out to me a few times to try and "be there" for me during all of this. She even showed up to the wake and I ended up having to console her because she was crying (she never met him btw).

A day or two after she mentioned about catching up once I was ready. I am almost certain she is not trying to rekindle things, but I have made it clear since the BU that I don't want to be friends. We would be back to being coworkers and have not contacted her directly outside of saying hello in passing at the office. She has reached out a few times, mostly to try and get attention. Then all of this happened and I don't know what to think.

Part of me is upset for letting this distract me from what I should be focusing on. Another part of me is wondering if she is maybe trying to test the waters to get back together? Or she could be trying to just be friends and maybe feels guilty about everything that has been happening.

It also doesn't help that some friends are telling me to stay clear (would say 60-70%) while others would say to at least take a shot and hear her out. I know I am in no shape right no to decide one way or the other.

I feel guilty putting so much time and effort into this and even going as far as posting on here to help get some feedback and suggestions on what or how I should approach this?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


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What Girls Said 1

  • it hasn't settled in yet maybe you don't want to think about your loss

    • But I should be focusing on that. Or else I am just prolonging the process of mourning.

      What should I be doing to help point myself in the right direction? If you have any suggestions.

    • I think maybe sit down and talk to your family, it feels like you don't want to think about what you've lost :(

What Guys Said 1

  • first of all sorry about the loss of your father.
    what i see is... you're not sure how you feel at this moment, and you don't know what you want... but what I suggest is... let her act only as (a friend), and surround yourself with your close friends or family.


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