How do you know when it's time to try harder or leave a relationship?

I've been with my fiancé for a little over 2 years now. We have a 1-year-old together. Since the pregnancy and his birth we’ve been fighting a lot. I’ll admit I'm not perfect and I have my own share of faults but he makes me feel bad about myself and doubt myself (calls me stupid a lot and that I’ve let myself go… I'll admit I definitely haven't lost all the baby weight but insulting me doesn't help how bad I already feel) and like I have no voice in this relationship unless I want to make him mad. I find myself constantly apologizing even if I've done nothing wrong. I don't like most of his friends/family, and he feels the same about mine. I also hate how much he drinks sometimes unless I cut in and say something, and even then it's met with some resistance. I don't like how I feel when I'm with him but he's threatened a few times to take our son away from me or limit me from seeing our son because his dad has money for lawyers (I don't), he has a job and a house (I'm unemployed with very little money saved and would have to move back in with my parents), and there's my own history of depression/being on medication (I got off them a few months before I found out I was pregnant and rarely drink or do anything since my son was born since I devote all my time to him).

I’ve spoken a few times to my family about this but they keep telling me babies take a toll on relationships and that it's good for the child to have both parents… even though I feel miserable most of the time. I feel selfish and ungrateful wanting to leave since he's a good father and does so much for us and nobody sees his bad side except me... but there's so much about us that just doesn't work for me anymore.

I feel trapped into staying because I don't want to lose my son.
He also doesn't hit me so I feel unjustified for wanting to leave.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck and you got a kid? You guys are both fucked. Your relationship sucks man, no two ways about it.
    you'll probably end up with the kid, he will end up paying you child support. I swear man, you would think that when 50 percent of america makes the same mistake that the rest would get a clue and stop shellin fucking babies out.
    You aren't selfish, hit the road and let come what may


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok I'm probably around the same age as you but here it goes in the nicest way get off your ass women go get a career maybe not a job right now unless you want to make yourself busy find friends go out and do things see what's out there lose weight for you and remember the hot bitch you once were because let me tell you this once it's more than one baby it gets harder to leave what he is doing is mental abuse by calling you fat and can be used against him in court the reason you feel this way is because you've been and I'm just guessing here you have been locked up in the house when you go you out you probably go where he goes you probably can't even mention five close friends right now go to college eat out because when you've been cooped up at home you base your attention on your kid and what he is doing which makes you mad that he still out there enjoying life and what drives you nuts is how easily he can do it without you


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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to have a talk with him.

    As a son, I would rather not know my mother as much, than know her and have her be stuck in a shitty relationship that seems borderline manipulative.

    You could also use his drinking habits against him.

  • Take time to talk to him


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