Can this marriage be saved OR will it end up like the Titanic?

Almost every conversation my parents have results in a fight. This used to be uncommon until my dad’s shady behavior. He was going through a hard time when he kept his mom’s life-threading health a secret from my mom and I. He used others on the Internet as a replacement and steered away from us. We are banned from knowing anything about them.

The family as a whole has never been truly functional. Issues have been suppressed over the years specifically with my aunt. I’ve noticed her envy toward my mom and it’s played a role in destroying my parent’s marriage. My dad’s shady behavior/attitude doesn’t help!

He has a thin skin and takes criticisms to heart. He’s a jokester and sometimes can take it too far. He felt underestimated when family belittled his mom’s health, saying it was an excuse for his emotional state of mind. Recently, my aunt accused him of cheating and being a druggie. Due to his shady behavior and him not refuting her claims, my mom believes her.

As she observes suspicious behavior, she’s falling down a deeper hole of agony. He claims he isn’t worthy and asks her to call a lawyer, especially after my aunt temper went skyrocketing when he refused to speak of his issues. He said he hates the family. My aunt’s fables of things he’s said/done in the past is only making it worse. My mom’s afraid to confront him or else it may be over for good.

How should we handle this situation? Should my mom believe her sister? Does my dad seem like a bad person? What are your thoughts on this situation? I’ll elaborate more in comments.


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  • Their marriage is their business to deal with, it's not for the kid's to sort out. Whether they work it out depends on the effort they make. It won't help you to start trying to label your dad as "bad" or make judgments about what they should or shouldn't do. It sounds like family counselling might be the way to go for you guys if it's really a problem for all of you and the functionality of the family unit.


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