Lunch date, awkward end...does that hurt my chances?

So I've liked this girl at school for a little while, but I didn't really start talking to her until two weeks ago. Anyway, we have summer school classes together, and so I have been talking to her a lot the past few days, and I asked her out to lunch today.

The lunch went well, I had a lot of fun and I think she did too. However, I have two concerns (and I tend to over analyze things, so I am I going to overdrive with this).

First concern is that I want her to know that I am interested in her as more than just friends. This is easy to establish when you are just meeting a girl somewhere and ask her out, but it is harder when you have had previous contact (although we never talked until recently). Is the fact that I asked her out to lunch, paid for it, and hugged her at the end enough to establish my intentions? Do you think she knows that I want to be more than friends?

Second, the hug at the end was kind of awkward. I've never done a lunch first date before, and so I wanted to make some body contact, but wanted to be appropriate given the time and place (on a public street). We stopped and said that we would see each other soon, and then she was standing there and I reached out and touched her arm, put my hand down, and then pulled her in for a 3/4 hug. It was not my smoothest moment, and I felt like I handled it kind of awkwardly. She kind of laughed a bit, so I'm not sure what that means. I'm hoping it was a nervous/she felt like she was being awkward too kind of laugh, at least that was what I sounded like.

So, although the rest of the date went well, did the end of it hurt my chances with her?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hello,

    Best advice I can off you is this..

    make no special effort to see her for about 6 days then call her.. when you call her ask her out for a date after school/work on a week day about 4 days AFTER you make the call, and when you ask her use the word DATE.. ie

    "Id like to see you for a date next tuesday, say 6pm"

    if she turns you down then she has no romantic interest, if she accepts then things get harder becouse you SHOULDNT be toutching her on the date, she has to come to you.. (toutching your arm ect).. if your unsure about her interest in you at the end of the date go in for a kiss.. if she turns her head then she's not interested and you should move on..

    ALWAYS remember your interest in her isn't inportant when dating its HER interest in you.. if she doesn't have any no amount of chasing her will make her change her mind..

    Good Luck

    -Chris

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think you're spot on about you both feeling awkward and you are absolutely overreacting to everything. I'm sure she understands that you would like to become more friendly, you're safe there, but you sure could ask her out again if you need confirmation... And the hug may actually turn out to be a positive for you. First dates always carry tension with them and you two were able to have a bit of a laugh and relax a bit...Plus, isn't it nice that the fact that you're not perfect is already out in the open...Wheeeeew...don't have to worry about that one now. Relax and have fun with it. Cheers!

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  • Yes she knows that you want more, and no, the awkward hug won't hurt you lol We all have those awkward moments. They're not that big of deal. If she's interested it definitely isn't enough to change her mind about you. Just relax and try not to over analyze :)

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    • Glad to hear it! I do tend to overanalyze things way too much...I'm working on stopping that!

  • I would say she knows that you want to be more than friends. I mean you clearly asked her out to lunch with just the TWO of you, you PAID, AND you hugged her at the end. I have guy friends who I do all three with but not guys that I have never gone out with before. I know the akward hug all too well and its normal and happens a lot. I am sure that did not hurt your chances at all I would actually think it was quite cute that he got neverous. That right there also gives her even more of a hint that you want more. I would say to text her tmrw and say you had a lot of fun yesterday you two should do it again soon. If she likes you that will make her feel good, and it also isn't pressuring her into another one if she isn't. Its basically you feeling her out. Do that and see what happens.

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    • Thanks, that is very reassuring to hear! I did feel like things went well for the most part, but I tend to get hung up on things that I perceive as mistakes on my part

What Guys Said 2

  • What signs are she sending? Is she sending any? Just as you're responsible to make your intentions clear, she's responsible for letting you know how you're doing.

    Most girls will tolerate a hiccup or two if she likes you. I don't see a catastrophe here, so try for a second date.

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    • Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going to try for a second date. As for signals from her, I'm not sure. She is an outgoing person, but seems to be a little shy when it comes to dating. She was making tons of eye contact with me, smiling a lot and seemed to have open body language, but other than that I wasn't really getting a clear signal.

  • More than likely she probably thought you were just being sweet even if a little bit awkward, if she really likes you she really won't care about the little mistakes. Girl sometimes think its cute when a guys do stupid things accidentally while being around a girl they like, being all flustered and what not. Ask her out on a second date, I'm pretty sure she'll say yes. Note the more physical contact she tries to make with you is a bigger sign that she likes you, its one of the more primal impulses of people, you want to be in contact with the people you care about, and this may take additional coaxing if she's a shy girl.

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