Have you ever felt useless and stupid like this before?

Being in a stale ten year relationship that is going nowhere. You have a kid with her that you never agreed to thanks to one stupid night that we got careless. Constantly stressed over constant fights and interrogations because she wants to know what I'm doing every hour of the day. Constantly have to think about other people when we have sex because the image of her represents worry.

At the age of 27(turning 28 in March) I feel like a idiot with an old moldy bandage too scared rip it off because of the pain it will bring. Only one girlfriend and that started 10 years ago in 2007. And if I do break it off I'll be a 27 year old with the dating experience of a teenage virgin.


Most Helpful Girl

  • So you have decided this is it for the rest of your life?

    • I honestly don't know. I didn't realize how bad it was until she left to her mother's house this weekend to sort out some of her family issues. This time that I have to myself feels wrong. Like I should be feeling under some type of scrutiny for having such a great time to myself.

    • Show All
    • Not missing her one bit. I spent time alone and with friends.

      And it wasn't her at home constantly checking up on me through text "hanging out with friends". It felt liberating.

    • You need a reality check on your life.
      You are young enough to start again with someone else but you sound a little resentful about the way things have turned out for you.
      You've got a girlfriend who is paranoid so she checks up on you constantly because she realises its out of balance between you.
      You either sit down and talk it out so that you can try a new approach or you both get out and see the world with other people.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • You need to break up. No point sticking it out when you're unhappy.

    • Thanks for the advice. Growing up I was never prepared to deal with someone like her. Someone that will not take no for an answer and use guilt as her main weapon.

  • Your young it will be easier to get out now

    • Thank you. I believe I'm still young. Even though I'm 27 people confuse me for someone around 20.

      It's the pain of separating both our families is that has me somewhat holding on.

    • Get out! Run , now, go get you some happy everyone in the situation has plenty of time to move on.

What Guys Said 2

  • >be me
    >be Resident Assistant at college
    >be stuck on duty on front desk from 6pm-2am on Saturday night
    >other RA friends go to big party at other students' house
    >half of my residents in the dorm go to it too
    >still stuck at desk with strict RA for partner
    >party house floor literally collapses
    >gas leak from that
    >everyone books it
    >house catches fire
    >house burns down a lot
    >i have to keep watch all night for the RAs so they don't come back drunk with the strict RA the desk
    >strict RA finally leaves at 2am
    >i let in RA friends
    >one is limping and crying, I ask another what happened, she says she'll tell me tomorrow
    >they all take her to her room, i feel left out and intrusive
    >i go to my room
    >i feel useless and stupid and out of the loop

    • What did she say?

    • >didn't contact me yesterday, i had to go home
      >hoping they'll fucking tell me today

  • Time is still on your side and the hardest thing of human nature is letting go. Whether it's belongings or toxic relationships because the unknown scares us.

    If you are not missing her then there is no feelings towards her. I think her, constant checking up on you will wear you down therefore you need to talk to her about how you feel. She probably still has little feelings for you and knows things are not right between the both of you.

    It sounds like you are in a rut and the daily routine of life has drained everything from your relationship. Time to take stock and look at where the both of you want your lives to go.

    Whatever decision you make will be the the right one. We are the ones that create barriers. Good luck.


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