It's not you, it's me?

when someone ends the relationship saying this... is that what they REALLY mean? Please help me out, I'm Latina trying to decode American guys behavior.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's just some trying to be nice about it. Sometimes it's the truth, they have issues to deal with/ too much on their plate without a relationship to also deal with. Other times they've simply met someone else they like better (if for no other reason she's someone new he hasn't seen naked yet) and are nice enough to dump you rather than cheat on you (actually kinda rare, most will juggle you both until he tires of it or is caught). For the rest it's an outright white lie: it's really one or more things about you that are deal breakers for him.

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What Guys Said 13

  • When in a relationship someone says it's not you, it's me... They are trying to saying that it's definitely you and I can't cope up with you... I mean there might be something about you that turns him off... And also it has become kind of a must say during break ups so that your partner doesn't feel bad about it...

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  • It is a cliche response but sometimes it can be true. The problem is the guy should of been honest up front and not ending something after the fact with.. It's not you it's me... probably was the entire time!

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  • Just trying to soften the blow, if they can blame themselves, then they can excuse themselves with little explanation and little guilt for the mess they leave behind, because, well, they tried to take the blame.

    It's you. Nobody ever leaves someone that's right for them.

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  • from my experience is a kind way of saying I don't like you anymore, probably because you've done our do anything that's the person doesn't like.

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  • It's usually just crap. They usually are telling you that they can't see themselves with you or that they're not happy being with you. It supposedly sounds like a nice way to break things off but it usually ends up making people feel worse.
    Don't let it bother you too much though because someone else could be much happier with you then they was.

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  • If they are honest, yes. Sometimes it could mean that there is something thst doesn't work out for them in the relationship and it's not worth it to them to hurt your feelings about it so they just blame themselves and move on.

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  • It means they're f'ed up in the head. NEXT!
    Some guys just aren't ready for dating. Or if they're afraid you'll go BSC on them then they'll let you down easy. It's just time to move on.

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  • It's mostly a cliche way to break up with someone

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  • It means it is YOU.

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  • It means that he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the real reason

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  • it may well be just a nice way of letting you down.

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  • Sometimes it may be true, or he could be just trying to be nice and not want to hurt you. Or he is weak and just using that as an excuse.

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  • It means he's tired of screwing your bum.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It just means he doesn't think the relationship was working the way he wanted it and he wants to avoid the whole discussion about what it is exactly he doesn't like. In short, he's saying it's over, dont take it hard, i dont wanna talk about it anymore than us just splitting up.

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  • In my view, this is a bit of a cop out but it does depend on a few factors. For e. g. how long were you together? Was it rocky? Did either of you exhibit depressed, strange or difficult behaviour in the relationship?

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