I (20 years old) met this guy (21 years old) exactly a year ago (February 2016).
he became my first everything (first kiss/boyfriend/sex/etc). I was kind of a late bloomer because I grew up in a very abusive family- yet I trusted him and fell in love. However, what I found out later is that he was actually looking for a fling with me, as he had to go back to his home country in a few months.
After a while, one morning after I made him breakfast, he got up and told me that I am "too nice" for him. He said that I "need a little bit more edge", and he left.
I spent the next few months extremely devastated. I cried every night, thinking about him, dreaming about him... I have tried to get over him by becoming "friends with benefits" with a good male friend of mine, and I ended up missing my ex even more because I felt empty and we ended after a few months.
To this day, we are still friends on social media. During the period when I was getting busy with my friend, my ex still constantly sent me funny pictures on Snapchat and would sometimes ask me how I am doing. Perhaps that is why I still cannot forget him.
Today, one of his best friends posted a status that they are officially in a serious relationship now on Facebook. I feel really happy for him, but sad at the same time. I have sent him my best wishes and he seems to be super happy and in love with that girl. He was gushing to me about how great she is, and I felt so painful in my heart because I know that I need to let him go but I just can't.
What should I do? I just can't stop thinking about him. Please help.
Most Helpful Guy
First let me say I'm sorry you've experienced your first heartbreak. There's nothing like that devastating feeling of sharing your heart with someone and loving them unconditionally with the idea that there're feeling the same only to have the reality hit later on that they can move on from you... easily. I'm so sorry.
The truth as I've experienced it is that there is no quick fix! Some will say erase him and forget what once was, others get a new hobby, and others a new mate that will take your mind off of him. And they're not wrong, but it's not exactly right either. The truth is time. Trying to act like it never happened never did anyone any good. When you love someone you take the hit that comes with remembering the good times you shared, and knowing you no longer have that. But you don't let it hinder your progress in life either. In time as each day passes by, you're forced to find a way to cope, you're forced to continue on living without that person and as hard as it is now to picture, believe me :)... you'll get there.
Cry, watch sappy love movies, talk with a friend, and understand the reality you're facing. And one day, I promise this will happen... you'll get up, the sun will be a smudge brighter than usual, people will once again seem pleasant to be around, music won't have such a tough effect on your emotions and a guy will come up to you in the Starbucks line and say hi. From there you'll be better :).
Good luck if you read all that haha :).2