My boyfriend broke up with me because he was "too busy." It's true that we didn't see each other very often. We were only able to see each other briefly after school and he would walk with me to my bus if he didn't have something else to do. He is passionate about soccer and values his grades, so he can be busy at times. We used to facetime and hang out on the weekends to compensate, and that was enough for me because I still got to see him. Well he started becoming more distant for a week and cancelled our plans and when i confronted him about it, he was apologetic and promised that things would change. Two days passed without a change and then he called me to tell me that we should "just be friends." In his words, "I've been realizing that a beautiful girl with an amazing personality deserves more time dedicated to solely her and I can't keep up with that." I was hurt and in shock, I thought he was just busy, I had no idea he was planning on doing this. The past couple days following the breakup have been difficult for me because I thought things were going so great beforehand. I can't say I was in love with him, but I definitely care about him a lot. The only word I can use to describe the feeling is heartbreak. He used to talk about the future with me, saying things like "a month and many more to come" and talking about how he wanted me to come to all his games, and planning activities we could do together. It all was just so sudden. The reason for dumping me seems like a cover up for a different reason that he doesn't have the heart to tell me. It just feels like such a weak reason to end a relationship, because it's something we can work out and compromise on easily, he just needs to talk to me about it. My friend has a a few classes with him and told me that he had been more quiet and passive than usual, so I know he was at least affected by it if only a little bit. Is he being genuine about his reasoning? Or do you think there's a different cause?
Most Helpful Guy
From a relationship coaching lens, I have a very basic belief: We make time for what matters. Busy or not, if you were a priority for him, he would've found the time.
As well, when he said to you, "I've been realizing that a beautiful girl with an amazing personality deserves more time dedicated to solely her and I can't keep up with that", I thought, that's sweet but it's also very often used to cushion the blow.
All to say, I don't think a lack of time is a weak reason to break up with someone, it just says a lot about what his real priorities were/are. I must say, this isn't something that you should worry about. I know it's easy for me to say that because I'm not in your shoes but this is not something that you can control. Not only that, you don't want to chase someone who isn't chasing you. In this case, he ended it and the more time you focus on the 'why' and the fact that you two could've compromised, the less time you're focused on moving forward. And by the way, what's to compromise for someone that already wasn't spending enough time with you? Think about that.4
Most Helpful Girl
I would believe him. He didn't have time to give and when you demanded time that he didn't have - he decided he couldn't commit to you in the way that you wanted now or any time in the near future. He is probably fairly attractive and knows girls will always be available to him when he is ready whether that is 5 years from now or 10 or 20 years from now.0