Should I take him back?

I dated this guy for about 1 year. We hit it off REALLY quickly. We ended up getting pretty serious pretty quick. I'm the type of person who is up for anything and believe in giving second chances but am REALLY confused. My ex's friend told me he had cheated on me at one of his shows (my ex is in a band). I got all upset, infidelity is the only thing that is a deal breaker. He denies that anything happened...its hard to believe though because he's slept with 25 women before me. Do I believe him and feel like a crazy woman or ditch him?

Updates:
I took him back. 2 days ago. He claimed he didn't do it. I need to get over my fears of infidelity. The reasons for my suspicions in every woman in my family has been cheated on. Including myself. Its hard not to jump to conclusions.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Kind of a tough call.

    I've been with a lot of girls before (if you knew how many you'd probably think very ill of me) my current GF, but that has nothing to do with cheating. I think sexual history (in terms of numbers) has little to do with whether or not he's a cheat. I think really you gotta look at what kind of person he is, and maybe even think about the circumstances of why he's been with so many girls. But hey as I said, I've been with a lot of women so I'm inclined to not immediately jump into thinking he's a cheater based on that alone.

    On the other hand though I still say I have trouble trusting him on this too. I mean really if your friend tells you that he's cheating on you it's kinda hard not to listen to some kind of accusation like that. Especially if it's a friend of his, because he should have even less reason to make up something like that. While I have had people lie and tell my ExGFs I was cheating when I very much was not, I have to say that most of the time, if somebody is warning you of something like that, it's not something to take lightly, because it could very easily be true.

    If he did cheat on you, then yeah, don't even bother taking him back, it's an automatic deal breaker (exactly the words I would use) and a complete and utter violation of your trust. Even if he didn't clearly you don't trust him anyway, so forget about him. Rule of thumb is that if you can't trust the guy you're with, you probably shouldn't be dating him in the first place, because ultimately that's what these relationships are about. You can't trust them then you're just going to get hurt again and again no matter how much you love them.

    Just forget about this guy. You can do better. There will always bee more guys out there. Some good looking, and some really cool, and most of them can treat you better than that. You deserve to be happy. Just like anyone else. After all, I can't imagine it will be hard for a pretty girl you to find another guy. You go out there, you get over this loser and you live your life. Get on another horse and ride. You can always do better.

    Good luck out there.

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    • Fair enough I suppose. Do fill us in with updates though. Good luck.

    • I didn't have any real proof. In a way I believe he might of guilt tripped me a little bit. I'm like a ball of clay sometimes. I am easily swayed by people who are feeling hurt.

    • It's understandable. It's a general human instinct to feel concern or even pity for others in pain.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Do you have any real evidence appart from hearsay...from an ex, maybe be careful on that front but if you get real evidence, text, email, admissions maybe deal with it then or you can break up with him on the the basis of an allegation of an ex who might be interested in geting back together with you etc...

    Do you like him do you see yourself with him long term, is the realtionship going ok can you do better etc...

    do what you feel is right

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What Girls Said 2

  • lol 25 people? uhhh that's a lot of sexual partners lol

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  • ditch him! you are young and beautiful! Who needs an asshole like that!

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    • Thank you for the support. But it was pretty serious. He was going to transfer schools to be with me....I don't know. Don't think I'm being ungrateful about your advice but do you truly believe it is the best option?

    • Yes! men are a dime a doezn. you will find one that will treat you 100 times better

    • That's true. It really is. Its hard to fight off the memories though especially when he sends me sweet emails and flowers that were out of his flowerpots. And promises to never make me eat Mediterranean food again. Gosh. I don't want to block him out of my life. plus I'm a softie. I'm the type of person who will stay in an unhappy relationship if the person gets upset even a little.

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