I dated this guy for about 1 year. We hit it off REALLY quickly. We ended up getting pretty serious pretty quick. I'm the type of person who is up for anything and believe in giving second chances but am REALLY confused. My ex's friend told me he had cheated on me at one of his shows (my ex is in a band). I got all upset, infidelity is the only thing that is a deal breaker. He denies that anything happened...its hard to believe though because he's slept with 25 women before me. Do I believe him and feel like a crazy woman or ditch him?
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Kind of a tough call.
I've been with a lot of girls before (if you knew how many you'd probably think very ill of me) my current GF, but that has nothing to do with cheating. I think sexual history (in terms of numbers) has little to do with whether or not he's a cheat. I think really you gotta look at what kind of person he is, and maybe even think about the circumstances of why he's been with so many girls. But hey as I said, I've been with a lot of women so I'm inclined to not immediately jump into thinking he's a cheater based on that alone.
On the other hand though I still say I have trouble trusting him on this too. I mean really if your friend tells you that he's cheating on you it's kinda hard not to listen to some kind of accusation like that. Especially if it's a friend of his, because he should have even less reason to make up something like that. While I have had people lie and tell my ExGFs I was cheating when I very much was not, I have to say that most of the time, if somebody is warning you of something like that, it's not something to take lightly, because it could very easily be true.
If he did cheat on you, then yeah, don't even bother taking him back, it's an automatic deal breaker (exactly the words I would use) and a complete and utter violation of your trust. Even if he didn't clearly you don't trust him anyway, so forget about him. Rule of thumb is that if you can't trust the guy you're with, you probably shouldn't be dating him in the first place, because ultimately that's what these relationships are about. You can't trust them then you're just going to get hurt again and again no matter how much you love them.
Just forget about this guy. You can do better. There will always bee more guys out there. Some good looking, and some really cool, and most of them can treat you better than that. You deserve to be happy. Just like anyone else. After all, I can't imagine it will be hard for a pretty girl you to find another guy. You go out there, you get over this loser and you live your life. Get on another horse and ride. You can always do better.
Good luck out there.1