On a break??

what does on a break me for you?

and what are the circumstances?

me and my boyfriend went on a break 2 days ago and I asked what that meant like time apart and he said yes.. but not talking either.. this whole thing sucksand I hope it doesn't last too long

Updates:
idk how long this will last but I hope not very long because I want to be with him. does anyone have any stories of going o break and getting back like how long were you on one etc?
what does it mean to you guys? like he said just time apart I'm trying to thik positive and say that we juat need time. it hurts so bad right now but hopefully it won't take long for him to see jjust how much he has in me
this deffinatly suckks anyone know how I can speed up the process and make him want me back sooner and when dfo you think it is ok to txt him to see bout talking in person like a week to see if we can talk or what's going on? is that ok

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi there,

    My boyfriend and I 'broke up' last weekend, I said I didn't want to and since everything moved SO quickly (literally within half an hour) that maybe we should both take some time to just be on our own and get both of our heads together to actually try to work on things. I felt really good about it for a couple of days and then my head started to go a bit mental- what if he still doesn't want to try, what if he doesn't miss me, loses feelings for me/ meets someone else. It's been a week now- we agreed on a month with no contact. It is SO hard and I feel for you. In fact, I couldn't even do a week...I was going mad today, I was meant to be revising for exams coming up and my mind just wondered so I eventually texted him, just saying I missed him. I wish I hadn't because I feel really pathetic now. And because he is being behaved and not contacting me hasn't texted me back...I'm such a prat! I couldn't even go a whole week without starting to physically feel ill from not speaking to him! (Started shaking, my blood pressure actually went up...might not be too good) I don't know the situation but I instigated the 'break' to try and salvage our relationship. It could be he just needs this time to make himself remember how strongly he feels about you?

    I empathise and hope that it won't last too long! Like Pixiedust33 if you want to talk...IM/message me. Maybe we should stick together for the set period lol...

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    • Idk even if a break is considred breaking up imo but that's just me. he told me just time apart but I feel ya too. I want to txt him soo bad but I don't know if he will txt back but we will see on memorial day when I'm suppose to go to his parents party.i just really want to talk to him in person as well and see what's up hopefully this thing doesn't last long and I hope he won't do anything with another girl wich he might ugg.. thi sistuation sucks because everyone says I'm such a great person and he's soo dumb

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    • I'm sorry Pixiedust, I know what you mean about the being thrown in, my boyfriend was all like I still love you but it's the love after the loss and I was like well THANK YOU for falling out of love with me and letting me fall MORE in love with you...men suck sometimes. He still hasn't replied to my text...but I guess he's trying to be good and actually leave it until the month is over. I just hope he starts to miss me more soon...It's killing me that I can't talk to him but I feel if I do I *

    • Won't give him the time he needs to get his head around stuff. Greatest timing too...i'm in the middle of some of the most important exams in my life and I can't focus for s**t. I either cry or get angry at myself as I realise more and more stuff that I did to contribute to the breaking up thing :(

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • it can mean a number of things. me personally if I were to ever tell a girl I needed a break, it would mean that I needed some "me" time to go back to the stress-free freedom of life I enjoyed back when I was single, if only temporarily

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    • This is a very good answer

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    • Ugg this sucks to hear temporary break-up like I wish it only last a week haha. I want to txt him so bad asking to talk in person but probly not a good idea just yet and well see if he txt me to come to the family party this weekend like I'm suppose to. just wish he gets all this crap out of his system if he wants to party or hook up with girls. but still don't see why if he has an amazing girl right here. lol

    • This is the best answer I couldn't say it any better that is what I would think

  • If you are on a break, remember it goes both ways. Start going out, meet new people, go on a few dates.

    Two things might happen. If you keep trying to have a good time and enjoy yourself who knows you might accidentally slip up and have fun.

    Also, you may meet someone that can really appreciate a good, caring woman.

    I have taken the "break" before, not to ho around, but again the break I took was because the person wasn't the same as you. I was providing everything (support emotionally and financially, time, effort, etc...) and receiving almost nothing in the relationship. It ended by the way. I didn't even pursue a woman for 2 years after.

    So, take advantage of this time and have fun doing something besides waiting.

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    • Thanks things have been a lot better this week.. well yes I have been keeping busy or trying too and had not contacted him at all. he finally contacted me last week to see if I was coming to his family party. I went and we had a great time laughing and everyting better then what it was before.. we have conversations and everything. and this week I'm spending it at his house his family went on vacation and I'm dog sitting for them and he's in cali for the weekend. so well see how this week goes.

  • I induced a break up recently with my girl. The reason is she started talking to another guy, to fill an attention need that I was lacking giving her in the relathionship. She's not a slut and was never gonna sleep with him. But she kept flirting with him and hanging out cause she loved the attention he was giving her. But she was emotionally cheating on me and it hurt. So I figured the best way to get that spark back and let her know that I could leave her and I'm not permanent in her life was to have a break. It worked to a charm, she realized I could leave her, and I took the time apart to thing of ways to get the spark back. The sparks a lot bigger then it use to be and were stronger now. It didn't last long, like a month for us

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  • ok.. I know it makes us seem like assholes but its not ke the guy doesn't want ti be with you but there's most likely a girl that he couldn't have so he's probably trying or stressing over that one chick. I have a girlfriend that I would love to be happy with but there's something inside of me that just isn't happy with her.so most likely ure boyfriend is chacing that girl/// everybody wants what they can't have that's the problem. but if he you should scare him into making him interested in him.. by acting like you are interested in someone else, he most likely will come back to you rather quickly. he's just bored right now... hope I helped

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    • Id hope. yea possibly I think he wants to explore and do things with other girls without consiquences ya know. but at the same time I don't know why he would want that becasue he has everything I'm me I do everything for him. I love to cook for him sumtimes ill clean etc and suprise him with things a lot basically everything you can probly imagine so I don't know why he would want that but its possible.

    • Ure perfect but he wants to snooparound for the excitement.. to a guy the girl could be the greatest in th e world but we want that excitement and even tho ure great and all he wants to fool around because its inj a guys nature.u should just randomly surprise him with something very sexy or something so you grab his interest back

    • Yes if I only could do that.. when he asked for one he also said the not talking to each other whni asked him bout it. but when I talk/ see him again I deff will suprise him with something. hopeing that this thing ends soon with him and he realizes what he has in me. this is just really tuff right now eventho he didn't say we are broken up ust on a break but it sucks still. when will he learn hhopefully by the end on the week haha if I am ever so lucky

  • So, I'm considering putting my girlfriend on a break, mostly because the effort associated with keeping her happy is getting to be a bit much.

    Basically I'm seeing the cost of the relationship (dinners, movies, 'just cuddling' nights, etc) outweigh the benefits of the relationship (sex, companionship and, um, sex).

    I know that seems 'weird' to women, but that's how I look at it.

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    • Yes that does sound weird.. you don't have to go out every day and do things personally imo just once in a wehile to save money ya know.. I'm not like that I don't mind not going out sometimes like to stay in and cook dinner together and just watch a movie and cuddle. but that's just me. I try to do new things

    • It's not about the money, for me, it's more about the time and emotional effort. I just wanna have some balance and if that's not there, it's time for time out.

  • I'm going through the the samething but I'm on the opposite end. How did yall get to this point? Where yall arguing alot?

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    • No arguing at all. I guess just was me not giving him enuff space me being around all the time. I was basically around 24 hrs a day 5 days a week. so no time for him to do school work hang with freinds etc. ya know. but right now this past 2 weeks have been really great since memorial day we have been hanfingout doing things together like movie nights and cooking dinner and overall having fun we laugh a lot more now and hold actual conversations unlike before. so things have been great now mor

    • Same exact thing that I'm going thru. Just know that as time goes by, it will get better and better because he is noticing that he wants to chill with you more and more.

    • True I already see the change in him.it seems great right now since we are doing more/talking more and just having fun and laughing at each other. I just am not sure if I shuld ask if the break is over or assume it is since things are really great. I think it is, but with him I would never get a straight answer anyway because that's how he is anyway. but yea just time heals things and he probly did realize just how great I treat him etc. so everythings good anfd I hope it gets better with you and gf

  • for me a "break" means a break up, its like when people say "lets put off having a baby for awhile" even though they are reaching the age where they can't have one so they never do

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  • He is just thinks things over and seeing if you will miss him. Give him some time

    DON'T TRY TO CALL HIM.

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    • Hah exactly what I did I dint contact him all week and he got in contact with me the other day about a family party.. I went and we had a great time I think.. I spent then night as well and will be going back up tomorrow. but I haven't asked if were still on a break or what's going on but I will most likely tomorrow because I didn't want to ruine the mood the other day

  • Just go to the pool and Sun bath. feel good about yourself and buy a new swim suit.

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  • its not good its the beginning] of the end

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    • Not necessarily.

    • Really??idk I don't think so in my heart I think he will be back to me maybe he just wants to explore see what's out there ya know.. everyone I talk to says he's soo dumb because I'm such a great person and I do soo much for him. more then anyone would. could just mean he wants him time. I tell myself its not over but we will see. and I want to txt him so bad because I want to talk to him in person because that would be better then this but when he said bout the break he said no talking either.

  • He met someone else he wants to have sex with then when he's done her he will come back to you untill he meets someone else he wants to do it with etc...

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    • But why would he when he has eevrything with me? just wish he would come back now its killing me especially not talking to him

    • Thts not necessarily true at all!! smh

What Girls Said 8

  • hey girl. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. but I'm going to say this and its going to sting a little bit. anytime anyone says they need a break and they don't want to talk USUALLY not all the time its because there's someone else. But, I don't know your ex boyfriend well enough to establish if that's the case. But first and foremost, a break is not a break its a break up. If its broken then you can either fix it or you can get a clean break and move on. However, if there's no talking then there's no fixing. But remember a break is just that... its a break.. its over. It hurts and sometimes people say they want to take a break to see if the grass is greener on the otherside or they say lets take a break because they actually still care about you and they know that they are going to hurt you so they try to say it as gentle as possible. ie: let's take a break.

    However, if you can't pin point a problem or something seems off go with your instinct your heart and your head will do EVERYTHING they can to protect you. If you're asking us this then for the most part as much as it sucks to realize you already know the answer.. its over.

    The best thing you can do is... take it as the end of the relationship. You have evaluate you, that's the thing people forget about all the time. A relationship is only a relationship when two people are whole. It doesn't work when one person needs to fix something or fix themselves. So whether its him or you whatever the issue is there's something that needs to be fixed. You can't worry about him though, you have to worry about you. Go through the motions prepare yourself for the worst and who knows when he's ready you may be over it. But the key here is you! Not him, if he could give you up and walk away and not want to talk to you then YOU don't need him. People are additions to our lives they don't complete our lives, they don't forfill them or make them whole... they make them better.

    So hun, know your own worth. Know that you are better than not being talked to or ignored. Know that you deserve to have someone talk to you and communicate with you and you should be respected enough to have a civilized conversation about this and whatever the issues are. If he can't do that then you are WAY better off. But remember this you may not believe it and you might not be able to see through it all right now... there's someone out there! there's someone out there whos going to make you happy and will talk to you through all the bad and the good. they will not put you on a break because they would rather talk to you then not talk to you. that's the difference in a real relationship a good solid relationship. Just hang in there!

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    • Yea I think a part of it lead because I was around all the time basically 24/7 5 days a week even when he was at school. like he dint have his time for himself. I think he wants to have time for himself and party and such most likely and maybe even see what else is out there who knows.its killing me right now but I'm just waiting to see if he will txt me when he does and I have to see him soon because he wants his camera. I personally don't think its over but who knows my hearts teeling me its not that

  • Do NOT text him, call him or e-mail him, because:

    a) Then it wouldn't be a break.

    b) It shows that you don't have a life outside him.

    He basically needs to see how life is without you, and wants to miss you. About the other day, with you sleeping over...I feel bad about that because he didn't ask you to get back with him!

    Do not sleep with him until that is the case. Make him realize that you aren't to be taken for granted. If he asks why you are holding out, tell him it's clearly because he asked for a break, and that it obviously includes sex. This will impress him, because you have boundaries, and make him miss you more!

    Right now it seems like he has the best of both worlds. If he asks to just hang, do it, but if you hang for an hour, and he doesn't mention getting back, tell him you've got plans and leave. Basically make him anxious to get back with you: don't shut him out, just show him that your time and love is valuable! Have fun, and don't wait for the phone to ring, this break is for you too!

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  • sometimes, a lot of too much of something good loses its fervor. like, if a couple spends too much time together they may not ever get a chance to miss eachother. a break can allow a couple space apart, and if they are going through a tough time, let them breath. this can be beneficial or harmful depending on the reason for the break. make the reasoning clear before you go through with it, so there is no chance of a break up. keep in mind that not all break ups mean talking to other ppl, either =) hope this helps!

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    • Thanks for the advice yes he said just tiem apart. we did spend too much time together basically I was here everyday and not letting him do what he had yto do like school work/hang with freinds etc since I was here.i didn't contact him all week and he finally did to me to see if I was comming to a family party. so I went and the day went exceptionally well. and this whole week has too since I had to be here/ we laugh/talk/etc again but I don't know if I shuld ask if the break over or assume it is

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    • Hmm thts tough. just go with the flow . dnt ask

    • Yea it seems really great now tho. we actually have conversations and laugh with each other etc. it seems a lot better so I'm really happy id just wish if I new that we were officially bk together again but I think we are but who knows. thanks !!

  • For me, a break means, we can date other people freely but not go buckwild &there is a plan to get back together.

    & I don't really think there should be circumstances if your aren't together, or if you don't agree on anything together.

    A hope everything works out for you.

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  • I too am going through this "on a break" thing. I can empathize with how you are feeling. He won't talk to me either. We have been together for almost 5 years and now he has a new job and new friends and all of a sudden doesn't want to "be tied down". I honestly think they are confused because they were in a comfort zone with us and for whatever reason, they want to explore independence. As hard as this is to swallow, I honestly believe he is re-evaluating if this is what he wants. Maybe that is what your boyfriend is doing too? And I think the only way to make this go as quick as possible, meaning for them to figure things out, is to completely have no contact with them. I have been pleading and texting for 2 days now and the only response I have gotten is "I don't want to talk". I think the only way they can see what they are missing is not having it there anymore. Be strong and I will be more than happy to talk with you more.

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    • Thanks so much sounds eactly like me. he doesn't want to talk so I'm not going to txt or anything and see what happens hopefully he will miss me being around the next week his family is having their anual party wich I usually go to so I will see if he txts me to come, and yes I do a lot for him. I used to cook. laundry etc but was around basically 24- 7, 5 days a week and I know it was a strain on us me being their all the time. but I hope that it doesn't take forever because it kills me inside

  • I've been through those kind of "breaks" in a relationship, and from experience, I can tell you that they have never worked out in the long run for me. Sure we need breathing space from our partners, but not so much that you have to temporarily stop being a couple. You need to see what his TRUE motives are, and if you feel something in your gut that isn't right about him, leave him before he leaves you. I've been through enough to tell you this.

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    • Thanks!! things have been a lot better this whole week haven't talk to him when we went on one until he conmtacted me about a family party. I went and we had a great time. laughed a lot thru the day and everything. then the next few days after that has been great also. I am at his house for the whole week this week house sitting and will see him a few days during the week so will see how that all goes. but right now its all turning out to be great but not sure if I shuld ask if break is over or nt

  • or he may just want to see another girl to see if he likes her or not...just saying...

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    • Thats what I'm thinking maybe... but I have so many good qualities that when I talk to people that say he's just really stupid if he doesn't come back to you. he might even want his time alone or for freinds but thanks

    • Just be smart...

  • it means taking some breathing room from each other

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