When you end a relationship do you actually want it to end?

  • Yes, when we break up we are done.
    Vote A
  • Yes, unless they make me want them back.
    Vote B
  • I just want to see what they will do.
    Vote C
  • I am curious what will happen but I do not want them back.
    Vote D
  • Done is done.
    Vote E
  • Other.. please explain...
    Vote F
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422

Most Helpful Guy

  • Certainly. When I break up with a partner, my decision is final. I don't flee from a mere challenge, either. I will only leave if the person is truly harmful to be around.
    They will not change for me, and I do not want them to; the results will be miserable.
    It's not that they were necessarily a terrible person overall, just incompatible/inferior.
    I would prefer it if my former-partner and I could maintain friendship after they recover, but I know that's easier said than done.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If we break up I'm then I'm completely done, I've never gone back for round 2 as the dumper or the dumpee. I don't go back, to me a break is a break up.
    I completely understand needing space and clarity at times - but fail to understand why you need to define that as a new relationship status or need more than a few days to do it.
    I've never seen a relationship succeed long term when "breaks" occur unless both parties are willing to undergo significant change and as adults that's not really a common theme

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What Guys Said 21

  • Sometimes, in a bad relationship, you have to end it. You don't want to. You just want the things that are wrong to be put right. That may not be possible, so it does end. Doesn't make it easy.

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    • I agree completely, I've been speaking to friends recently and they are like pro a break up shake up.. I was just seeing if this was a normal thing :)

  • I have a little speech I tell any girl I date:

    "I want you to be in this relationship with me because you WANT to be. I will never try to force you to stay, though I might ask you to reconsider. The 'exit door' is always there if you want to use it, but know this: that door is a one-way door, so once you use it, there's no way back in. So, think long and hard before you choose to use it."

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  • it's all based on how the relationship was, my last relationship I felt no attraction for the person so once i ended things that was it, but the one before that I didn't want to end because of a miscommunication and I had very strong feelings for her. it depends on the situation

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  • It would largely depend on the situation... if they've cheated on you and on top of that robbed a bank with the other guy than probably it's bye bye sunshine :-(
    I can imagine situations where you're momentarily mad, but sorry for it 3 hours later since you really still love the person!
    So it depends...

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  • I hate doing it feel like shit afterwards. But if she isn't giving me the attention I need like more than twice a week or another belittling me about work that I already hate. Its just not gonna work out.

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  • When we are done we need to part ways and not talk again, but move on. I didn't do this with a dumb 5th grade relationship that was big for me at the time, and all that does is cause problems, at least to me.

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  • So far, many people say "to still be friends" even if the relationship ends. I dunno about how it feels.
    Am in a situation too but I fear the girl will stop talking to me after Monday. Chk my questions

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    • We shall see on Monday then.

    • Is caring for a girl who is nearly married an offence? I wish I knew what is her reason for not talking to me like before.
      Do u thk I love her? To get Sexually HARD, do u hv to thk of something sexual to get Erect? Coz I grabbed her hips but I was not erect. Is it coz I didn't thk of sexual thg

  • I guess as in most questions the answer is it depends. What if you beak up because of uncontrollable reasons, such as moving elsewhere for work?

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  • It's almost always one-sided. 1 steps away from a marriage and tears the husbands Soul apart. There's always a reason to make somebody done. From finding someone else and betrayal... Or finding out about somebody else and betrayal

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  • it depends sooo much. but I generally like to stay friends

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  • no, i wish it were different but i know it won't work out...

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  • ye .

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    • if i dont want to actually break it off then i wouldn't break it off. lmao

    • That's how i feel... but some of my friends... I'm like.. uh.. dumped is dumped... they are like oh its another chance 🙈

  • Any dumpee would like to think the opposite.

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    • I would imagine so.
      Speaking to a few of my friends last night (18-20 in age from my former college class) they were calling it a break up shake up and honestly said half the time they do it is to judge interest!

    • Show All
    • @es20490446e
      oh, yeah If you've already realized that then nevermind. My bad, It sounded like you hadn't realized that, but everyone messes interactions up and then wonders why they said something specific, but it sounds like there was a lot more that causes that decision to be more in context. I know the feeling on extremely private people. That's part of why I had to end my last year long relationship =/ She held her real feelings and didn't completely show who she was which made me feel like I could never truly love her =/

    • @Salohcin22 Moreover she was chronically depressed, so probably it wasn't me for the most part.

  • yeah im not that indecisive

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  • when im the one that ends it, most definitely

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  • Yeah of course.

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  • I don't unterstand the question

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  • Yes, when we break up we are done.

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  • I sort of want to break up but I know I will never get this kind of person again in my life so I'm kind of clinging on.
    She did say she wanted to break up a couple of times and I was willing to go through with it and at one stage was sad but quite relieved that it was over but every time she changes her mind and wants to stay together.

    I guess you could say I'm a prisoner chained by love.

    https://youtu.be/Vp9gHwxyKm8

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  • The ones that I have purposely ended, FCK YEAH!! Like LEAVE ME ALONE, kind of endings!! Restraining order coming next, kind of ending!!

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What Girls Said 3

  • When I end a relationship it is for good. There is no going back at all, not even one text.

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  • No, many times my feelings are unresolved but breaking up is not always easy. It is just necessary but that doesn't mean I want to end it- I just know that I'm better off if I do.

    Edit: based on other answers, I have been good friends with ex's but it does depend on our relationship, how serious, how it ended, etc., Those all factor in on a potential friendship afterwards. You don't need to be besties but you will definitely get along, go out to lunch, i invite them too parties, events and vice versa. We keep in touch, definitely. Some people are better off as friends, infact.

    Yes, there are on and off couples.. sometimes its just how it goes and other times, the on and off is enabling the bad partner to come and go as they please. I have given out chances after time has passed or said we needed a break, and over half the time- the break or off period did help.
    So yes, I want a break but I don't always like that its ending.. some relationships, I am more than relieved for it to be over and other times, I judge my mistakes in the relationship. I also don't know if an off period will help but I still break up because I know what I'm not willing to tolerate. Surprisingly, people do change.. we both acknowledge how things went wrong, maybe we'll never be the best couple, maybe we'll be friends or with benefits, ya never know.. but people do change, I have seen it. And also to add, sometimes a person has changed but things they did cannot be forgiven and they cannot be trusted- that needs to be understood.

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  • I've only had one boyfriend, but we broke up because substance abuse issues on his part that led him to make plenty of bad decisions including a DUI, cocaine problem, missing work, becoming estranged from family, and eventually cheating which was the last straw for me. The relationship had to end for my sanity, but it also had to end because he needed a wake up call and he needed to know I wouldn't put up with seeing him spiral. In a perfect world, addiction wouldn't have come between us. I still love him very much. I still hope he gets better and that we'll be back together. So no, I don't think relationships always end because you want them too. Sometimes they just need to end, but you wish more than anything that they didn't have to.

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