My husband is a trainer at a gym. Last week he left his cell phone at home. He got a message I wouldn't normally check but if a client is cancelling a session he would need to know.
I opened the message it was from a young girl he trains, she is probably about half his age. My husband is 50 years old. The message was a picture that stated he was very sexy.
I was very angry and replied she responded saying she had sent it to the wrong person. It was on what's app so that was a blatant lie.
I confronted him and he said it was just a joke and meant nothing. I blocked and deleted her number on his phone.
A few days later I caught him sending pictures of our kids to her. I demanded to see the msgs. He hates any form of texting communication, he doesn't text me or family so to see the amount of messages he sends her hurt me.
Not to mention there were messages where she had called him 'babe' and where he had clearly deleted some msgs. When I confronted him he couldn't answer, he got defensive and said I was just jealous and over reacting.
I told him he was a liar and dishonest and that he can't train her any longer. I made him send her a message to end it. He did and the girl called him. I could tell the conversation was emotional. He told her he cared about her but I was very upset, wouldn't accept them seeing eachother and that there was nothing he could do to change my mind.
The next day he asked me if we could talk about it and basically didn't want to give her up.
I saw that before I had found the message he had emailed her early to warn her he had left his phone at home and she had not seen it in time.
He spends more quality time with her talking to her and being emotional with her. I don't know what to believe or what to do.
He went to spend time with her today as part of their training, when I called his work, he and she had gone for a drink.
Why won't he give this girl up? We have kids! Whats going on? Is he cheating? Any advice would be appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
From a relationship coaches perspective, I think you know the answer about whether he's cheating or not. All signs point to yes. My question to you is, why would you want to stay with someone who is cheating on you? Because you have kids? Not only is he cheating (which you already know) but he's hesitant to cease communication with her--which tells you where is heart is.
Sincerely--we teach people how to treat us by virtue of what we expect (loyalty, faithfulness) and what we accept (disloyalty, lack of faithfulness). If you stay with him, it won't get better.6
Most Helpful Girl
This sounds to me like an inappropriate relationship.
1) Stating he's sexy and sends a selfie?
2) "Sent it to the wrong person", "It was a joke" .. those are the oldest lies in the book
3) He doesn't text you much, but has lengthy conversations with her?
5) Deleting messages
6) No real explanation and flips it on you saying your jealous and overreacting
7) The next day is more concerned about how she feels instead of how his WIFE feels?
8) Gone out for a drink?
I hate to break it to you. These are all huge red flags of a cheating partner.. Or she is milking him to try and get free training sessions. Either way it's not right.
Work is work. It's suppose to stay professional and there should never be any outside conversations with his clients about anything else but training!!!
I know you have kids and started a life with this man. It's devastating. Trust has been broken. This could definitely unfold into constant fighting. Is that an environment you want for your children or yourself? I think I would take a break for awhile to really think about it all. Most importantly listen to how you strongly feel and go with it. Do you want to be miserable for the rest of your life always questioning? or would you rather find someone who is dedicated to you and your family.2