Why would I constantly think about a guy I am not friends with anymore?

He and I used to be friends, really close friends. We had also began messing around about 2 months after we met. I ended up falling in love with him and I told him. We had already discussed how we were just having fun and nothing more could come between us in regards to feelings. He took it well when I told him. We remained friends for over a year and still carried on as FWB. We fought so much though because he wasn't respecting me like I deserve to be. So, Jan. this year, I severed ties with him. Totally stopped talking to him, not taking his calls, not going to see him or allowing him to come see me. I was happy. (Was is keyword) with that arrangement. Then one day 3 people contacted me about him after I'd not see or talked to him in 3 months. Then all of a sudden HE called me from a number I didn't know. And that's all it took. I am not in love with him anymore. He shattered that along with my heart in a million pieces over some other drama back in Jan. and Nov. 2009. So anyone have any idea? Am I just meant to deal with him being on my mind all the time? I know there's NO WAY we can be together. He's not a serious dating type for me. He is GREAT to mess around with but no serious relationship.

I know I'm on his mind all the time also. When he last saw me, he still wanted to mess around and I refused. Though I miss that with him. LoL

We just had that type of connection. When we think about each other it makes the other one think about the other one also.

I feel like I'm going insane. I want to talk with him and get closure from the hurt especially from Nov. 2009 that he put me through. Do you all think that will help me deal with him and 'forget' him in a sense?

Don't hold back, tell me straight forward. I don't want him on my mind all the time. He's hurt me too much. I don't want the friendship with him either.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Psychologically speaking, women and their sex partners tend to ingrain into their memories and emotions longer than someone that was just a friend. Another thing to think about is that women who do FWB often times cling to "asshole" type persons because of their hormonal instincts.

    • Very interesting Trihill! Yeah I do admit, I do seem to cling to "asshole" type people. I swear that's part of the tattoo on my forehead I can't see. I believe it says "asshole magnet"

      I've had other sex partners and none of them are on my mind like this 1 is. The other partners I've had have treated me better, Not the best though. How do I get over him any suggestions? Thanks for your response!

    • Either you can find another asshole type or maybe you should consider settling down and finding someone more stable that treats you right and doesn't see you just as free sex.

    • I am right now enjoying being totally single in every sense of the word. I have no FWB or anything like that going on. I'm trying to get my life back away from him. He seems to be all I think about day and night. I've decided I'm not going to date or anything for awhile to regain my self worth from what I've been through.

      Thanks again for your answers!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Wait I thought he was "in love" with you?


    • So, you're assuming I have wrote both questions when both are anonymous submissions. Ok. Don't know what to tell you. Any suggestions for either question that have been anonymously submitted? I'm curious especially for this question to get more good comments.

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    • OK then really seriously not being funny here, the other answers will help you I think. Remove him from your life. Get him out of your heard and then you can move on. He wants you thinking about him so that you do exactly what you are doing: thinking about him and getting confused! Men understand us just as much as we understand them. "Can't beat them? Confuse them!" They really do resort to near insanity at times to get what they want.

    • He has no clue how to get you back so he is doing the next best thing: making you THINK you want him back by making you think about him.

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