I'm an emotional wreck?

Question

I'm an emotional wreck?

Anonymous

I'm an emotional wreck...

I'm a guy, I have intense strong feelings for a girl, we never dated (Just a crush).

We go to school together, used to be friends, I really fell for her but she rejected me (Unclear). (She didn't tell me she had a boyfriend)

She gave me mixed signals, And I don't know what really happened.

This happened last year.

This year, she is dating a new guy. She got a really good job...

I'm a wreck... An emotional wreck... I never had any emotions before I met her, now I can't concentrate on anything.

She is stuck in my life, she is part of my social circle and lives right by my house and I see her very often.

Please help me not have these feelings anymore... There as so intense, we were never even in a relationship.

44

4

Most Helpful Girl

MargaritaPeach

The easiest way to move on from one girl is to find a new one. The healthiest way is to focus on yourself and work on managing your emotions.

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- Asker
  
  I'm having a really hard time finding a girl to date or shift my attention to.
  
  I keep getting rejected and am not really meeting girls
  
  Reply
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- MargaritaPeach
  
  If the places you have been trying aren't working out, you might consider trying some new places.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  Like where?
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Where have you been approaching the women who turn you down? There are tons of places to meet people. Work, school, the gym, church, rec centers, hiking or photography clubs, volunteer organizations such as Habitat for Humanity, soccer leagues, dog parks, clubs and bars, hardware stores, online dating sites, mutual friends...
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  Online Dating sites, mutal friends, Coworkers,
  
  The girls at the gym are wayyy too fit for me, they can have any guy they want.
  
  I don't go to school, church, or hobby clubs.
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  A lot of guys who go to the gym assume that those girls can have any guy they want. But sometimes they are shy and don't approach on their own, so they end up alone as well. Since there are lots of places you don't normally go, maybe you should try a few of them. Relationships don't just fall in our laps, we have to go out and actively seek them.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  I need to move on from this, I need a new relationship today
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Well, nothing solid happens overnight. Things take time. If you are feeling obsessive or your emotions are out of control, you might work on managing your health first until you are feeling stable, and then go from there. But I hope you find someone soon!
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  My emotions are out of control, like it's so intense, I'm feeling everything, and I don't want to be so emotional and I feel weak
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Emotional does not mean weak! Being strong and disciplined does not mean you have to be a block wall, or that you can't have feelings. Also, if medical intervention or prescriptions help, that doesn't indicate weakness, either. Quite the opposite. Being a 'tough guy's won't properly heal a broken leg, now will it? Of course not. Neither does getting medical help for other things, if you need it. Just something to keep in mind.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  It seems hard to find someone to talk to, and there are so many therapists
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Pick one with a good rating and try one. A psychiatrist may be a better starting point than a psychologist, only because a psychiatrist can prescribe medication if they think it would help. Sometimes there are just chemical imbalances going on (that can be easily corrected) that cause people to feel more emotional than usual.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  I don't want medicine :(
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Well, if what you want and what you have been trying doesn't work, sometimes it's a good idea to try something new. Even if it's not your first choice. There are other things you could try too, though. Being outside, getting more exercise, picking up new hobbies, things like that.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  I think I should quit gag
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Well, if it's an outlet for you to talk to other people then it might be healthy for you. If it just makes you depressed, then maybe it's a good idea. Only you would know that. But please take care of yourself either way. Things will get better.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  I don't feel well at all, my emotional health is very low, I can't get over her, I feel so sick
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  All of those things are signs that you need help. Not being able to get over someone that was never even yours to begin with is very unhealthy. Not being able to control your emotions can be very scary. Whether you want help or not, and whether you are in favor of medications, it sounds like things are getting to the point that you need some medical treatment. Please make an appointment to see someone right away, or call 911 if you are thinking of harming yourself. There are plenty of services out there to get you feeling better.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  I've had those thoughts, but not anymore...
  
  It's really daunting finding a therapists... Overwhelming, I don't know what to say or email and it makes me anxious
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Google therapists in your area, choose one, dial the number, and say "I need an appointment." It's very manageable. Anxiety is challenging, but you can take small steps to overcome it.
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  Or walk into your school's office and ask to speak the guidance counselor or employment specialist. Or even a human resources officer could help you.
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  Thanks, I think I will just pick the first one and call
  
  Reply
- MargaritaPeach
  
  I hope it works out well!
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  Thanks
  
  Reply

Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 3

tattooedhandfet

No one can help you, you have to help yourself. And as you see, stuffing your feelings down, does nothing but cause more angst. I urge you strongly to speak with her about how you are feeling still! You see her often, so the opportunities are there! Take the chance, speak to her, from your heart!!!

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- Asker
  
  I tried to, but she is very uncomfortable and doesn't want to talk about that
  
  Reply
lamejeny

it's okay to have these feelings but move on. if she's not interested, then don't hurt yourself trying to get her attention. get yourself back up, look at yourself in the mirror, and say "i can get any girl i work hard for". good luck

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- Asker
  
  I'm really hurting myself :(
  
  My confidence is so low too, I can't get any girl ever
  
  Reply
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- lamejeny
  
  yes you can, you just have to put your mind to it
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  What are the steps?
  
  Reply
- lamejeny
  
  okay well first you have to get over the person, and then start searching for someone who meets your goals. and if you want to charm a girl, find out what she likes. an example:: she likes pink roses, buy her pink roses every time you go out
  
  Reply
- Asker
  
  She meets all my requirements, no other girl will be good enough :(
  
  Reply
Anonymous

Look after yourself and keep busy with things that make you feel happy and fulfilled (e. g., exercise, hobbies, volunteer, work). Time should help diminish your feelings towards her.

Try to keep positive and meet other women, whether it's through classes or work, online dating, or when you're out and about with friends.

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- Asker
  
  Time is not helping
  
  Reply

What Guys Said 3

Stone_Fizzlebeef

You just have to sweat it out. In the meantime, I suggest some physical activity to keep busy and something else to occupy your mind. Myself, I chose martial arts and writing for a creative outlet. You might do something different, but the principle is the same. The less time you spend moping about her, the better.

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Hispanic-Cool-Guy

I been there before. Trust me you will look back and laugh on what you're feeling now. Forget her. There are a ton of chicks to choose from in this world. She ain't the only one.

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Anonymous

instead of feeling sorry for urself put that energy into doing something great for yourself. i bet if you do super well in your life she will crawl to you. become rich and then get the girl instead of losing hope use the sadness to motivate yourself

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Anonymous · Accepted Answer · 2017-03-02T10:14:59Z

This is called "oneitis" or "love" by people with different views :)

We don't choose our emotionability, like we don't choose our intelligence and beauty (and any other feature of ours).

If she lives nearby your place and is in your social circle, leaving thoughts of her behind becomes harder. You need to find another girl/woman you like much.
Meanwhile, try to make other friends (another circle of friends, maybe?), and engage in as many activities, hobbies and tasks as you can.
You can even find something (not someone) you love to do.

I'm an emotional wreck?

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