Who's to blame in this case? Is it unreasonable to not forgive someone for this?

Two guys are friends and neighbors go to the same school and are like brothers. One guy comes from a single parent family father divorced his mother. he's an only child. And his mom is more promiscuous and addicted to prescription drugs. He came out as gay at 14 to friends and family. The other guy comes from a religious family and has an older brother and a younger sister. They live in an upper middle class neighborhood and are best of friends until they turn 16. At 13 they get another close friend who's a girl that the straight guy starts dating when he's 16. It turns out the gay friend likes the other guy's brother. And has had a crush on him since in middle school. The friend's brother is in a relationship engaged. And the gay friend and he start dating. The brother is in his 20's though. He tells him he loves him and will leave his fiance for him and that they will spend the rest of their lives together and his friend really believes him and is in love with him. The straight guy finds out and doesn't approve l. Feels offended and upset that his friend is messing with his brother's monogamous relationship with his soon to be wife. He refuses to talk to him and terminates their friendship. After this point. The gay friend and his brother go on with the affair for like 2 years. His brother ends up marrying the woman he's cheating on. His girlfriend's always stayed friends with his ex friend. But when the affair ended she knew about it and encouraged him to forgive his friend. While she let the wife know about it. The gay friend is actually bisexual but not openly starts dating a woman and the wife of the brother starts telling everyone what he did. And trying to expose him to his now girlfriend who already knew and was fine with it. But now her family and friends know who don't approve of it or support it. The brother wants to forgive friend and start over but feels like its too early? Is it wrong to not forgive? And was it vengeful to expose the affair partner?


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  • In this situation, the straight brother doesn't have to forgive his friend yet, but sometimes forgiving is the best way to move on. The older brother's wife shouldn't have told everybody, it's not really her business. If the bisexual friend's family didn't support before, she ruined any chance the friend had at getting them to truly love and accept him.

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