Is breaking up so the person being dumped can focus on their mental health actually bad for them?

My brother is in love with this girl but feels that she isn't emotionally stable enough/ready for them to be together and thinks that he should break up with her so she can focus on getting better even though he still loves her. I think it's a shit idea because he's been her support and has made sure she eats, doesn't hurt herself, etc. He still loves her and I think he should help her through because I think she'll go back to not taking care of herself if he's gone. She goes to therapy too and last time we talked she said everything was fine. Do you guys agree with my brother or think that the sudden change could be bad for her?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It isn't fair to your brother to keep him locked in a relationship (or in relations) with a person just because she isn't healthy. Honestly, that's like someone having to stay because they threaten to commit suicide. And if something were to happen to HIM, she would have to learn to cope regardless.

    He can do what I did: help her get settled with a new support team, check on her periodically, and as she gets better, start weening her off. Like an addiction. She sounds very dependent, so it will literally be like weening her off of a drug. Unfortunately relationship addictions are comparable to cocaine addictions :/ Not near as physically traumatizing, but just as hard to quit...

    I think your bother is in the right and needs to do what he feels is best. I have been codependent for years, and it is really hard to get out... but I finally had it with my last guy.

    • Yeah, I think the thing that really irked me about it is that he still wants to get back with her after, but you're right it is his choice. He's one of those guys who feels like if he's not able to help he's making it worse, hopefully things work out for them in the end

    • He sounds genuinely concerned... though I doubt he'll go back :/ I didn't... After I found Stephen and realized I could have an equal, stabilized relationship, I lost interest in being the emotional kick-stand all the time...

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