I have tried talking to him about it before but he has got so angry that I am now too scared to talk to him about it.
I just feel that we're now more like friends that live together rather than a couple.
We've known each other for 7 years, been together for 2.5 years and lived together for 1.5 years. we both work for the same company so know the same people at work, even if we rarely cross paths there. I'm 24 and he's 34.
Should we break up before getting married? Am I being selfish? Is this just cold feet - am i making a bigger deal out of this than i should? What should i do?
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"I have tried talking to him about it before but he has got so angry that I am now too scared to talk to him about it."
Holy shit is this a massive red flag. Your partner should not get so angry at discussing relationship issues that you can't ever bring anything up. This is 100% a bad relationship. DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON.
Also, your ages are an added on issue. By itself it'd be a thing to keep in mind, but with what you've described it's kind of a "well that's probably the problem". I do not know any healthy, mature 31 y/os who would be ok with dating someone who is 21. You're just at vastly different stages in life and that whole decade of life experience really does make a difference. I mean, can you imagine dating someone who is 17 right now? Probably not because their life, what they want and what thye've experienced is just so different from where you are at 24. The kind of people who usually go for a younger partner are usually the kind who want to control or take advantage of their lack of life experience.