Why can't he just leave me alone?

I'm currently in college and when I left for school in the beginning I left a boy back home. I use to go home every two weeks for him and would do anything for him. However, we have had plenty of fights and the thing is we have been on the low because I never wanted anyone to know about us, because he's younger than me. Despite that I grew out of it and I think I fell in love with him finally when I wanted to be with him he came up with excuses such as your to far I can't do long distance. Well now I'm back home for break but he has a girlfriend. Because of his girlfriend I didn't want anything to do with him but he still calls me sober and drunk. Not so long ago he came over and we fooled around he said he doesn't care about her and is leaving her but hasn't yet. Am I just stupid and letting him use me or does he really care about me? I've told him I don't want to be his friends and to stop calling me because he plays with my emotions yet it's been three years of the same thing...we talk to other people yet always come back to each other. I'm tired because he won't commit to me but won't allow me to move on either.What should I do...I think I love him still even though he treats me horribly.


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What Guys Said 1

  • break up with him. you fight over small things, you know he can cheat on you, you know he can suffocate you (doesn't give you space), you know he drinks when he gets emotional, you know he isn't for long distance relationships.

    is there anything good you can think of that would justify putting up with those faults?

    try finding someone more mature for you that doesn't have those problems. dating is about learning what love is and finding it. don't rush into it blindly.


What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like he is just afraid to truly let go of you. He probably does really care about this new girl, and is a little curious to try something new, but a part of him is hoping that you will be there if things don't workout. When he gets in a fight with her, or she does something he doesn't like, he will think of you. Then, before you know it he is dialing your number. The relationship ended, but it wasn't because you guys didn't still care about each other.so, for both of you, there is the fantasy of starting off where you guys left off. I have been playing this game with my ex for about four years, and it gets harder and harder every time I hope we can rehatch it. I am in your boyfriend's shoes though, I really care about my new boyfriend, but my ex keeps trying to come back in my life and one day I want to go back to him, and the next I am back to thinking I should stick with my boyfriend. He needs to decide, and I think the best thing for you to do would be to not talk to him. Tell him that he needs to make up his mind, and only contact you if he is sure things are over with his ex. I breakup with my current boyfriend a lot, and we always get back together the next day, but always call the ex in between-bad call! I just told my ex that I was confused about things and that we shouldn't talk, and even if I slipped and contacted him that he shouldn't respond. I don't want to hurt him by giving him hope, when I don't know if I will follow through.

    Saying, "I need to let him go" is a hard thing to repeat aloud, because it feels like the end. But, if it just doesn't seem to work, and you keep trying at it, when you might realize it is time to let go it won't be as peaceful. If you were meant to be, you will be; things often have a way of working themselves out :)


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