Girls, Could these issues have contributed to a break up?

Due to a big medical issue I lost my job and had to go on disability, I was unable to drive for about 7 years. To get back on my feet I had to move back in with my mother and stepfather. My condition improved, I was able to get my license back, and got back to working.

I bought a vehicle and started saving for all of the deposits and rent for my own place, and was at a point that within a couple months would be able to afford a place. I was helping them on bills and maintenance. My stepfather started asking me if I had saved enough money he literally asked me 5 times in 2 weeks, I finally had it and said I'd be out in a week. Originally I was allowed a year or two, this was after 6 months, all behind my mothers back. I had to borrow money and settle for the cheapest place I could find, it had no refrigerator or oven, and I had neither, only a bed and table for furniture, I got a worn out couch from my brother. Bought a used tiny fridge, microwave and a toaster oven. Having to move on short notice, I was very short on money.

At the same time I moved I met someone, lived 50 miles apart. She came out every other weekend, I wasn't able to cook much for her, but she always cooked for me at her place. I tried to help by cleaning up, and cooked for her at her place at times.

She broke up with me due to a lot of things going on in her life that she needed to take care of first. I always felt like my home may have been a contributor, I felt bad about it, and I found out from her she liked coming to see me, but a lot of anxiety about my house. I have bought a new couch and will be buying the appliances within a month. While its not the main cause, I always wonder if it may have been a contributor to the break up. Because I know for certain I would not have been in this living position had I had 2 more months, I have been very unhappy with my stepfather, especially because it was behind my mothers back, and I don't want to cause problems between them.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Being completely honest it could have something to do with it. Reading your post I definitely understand your situation and am actually in awe that you've managed to turn your situation into the best it can be despite the draw backs - congratulations as many people seem to wither away when knocked down.

    She may not have seen how far you had come or not wanted to wait for the progress to be at a level she was happy with... its hard to say without knowing her but despite that you should feel proud of your accomplishments and know that there are many women out there who will appreciate your drive and effort

    • We have stayed in touch, been on a couple dates, but not having her come over yet. We have both agreed that we have been a big impact on each other for the better and she says she believes people don't meet by coincidence, that if it was meant to be, it will be. She has also been seeing a therapist because of everything going on in her life. she has told me she's proud of what all I'm doing. She was extremely surprised when she saw a picture of the inside of my house when she wanted a picture of how the new furniture looked.

    • If she's sought therapy then it's probably less to do with you than I thought previously, and if you're still in touch it hasn't been closed off. Maybe just see how this dynamic goes for awhile while you work on your goals, help her on hers if she asks and as she said if it happens it happens 😊

    • I do believe it's not the main reason, however, I just have the thought that it may not have been of help. I am supportive of her, especially about seeking a therapist, as I know I can't be the one to fix all her problems

      Interesting thing I found out, yesterday when we went out, we met up with some of my family she has met before. My great uncle was talking to her while I was away, telling her we need to go visit him, try some coffee he had and go to the casino, and her response was that we'd definitely have to do that.

      I have been trying to give her space while she works things out, trying not to overthink things, but the issue with how I live constantly bothers me

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