Should I forget him?

Hi, I had been seeing a sophomore guy (I'm a sophomore too) that goes to a different college in the same town for about 4 months. We started seeing each other last November until February 24th. We went out on dates at first, however once I started hanging out with him in his dorm room, it shifted more to that. He had surprised me with a Christmas present first and drove to take me on a date during winter break though. On February 24th, he told me that "I kinda don't think we should see each other anymore." I had sort of been expecting that he would say something like that because before then we had not seen each other after Valentine's Day. I tried to exude a calm aura and told him that I had been expecting that and that I understood and that I had felt like there was some distance between us, but that I didn't want to pressure him to say anything if he was not ready. I asked him if we could be friends because I thought that in the future I would like him as a friend, and to my surprise he invited me to his fraternity's party that same night. I declined however because that is too soon. I called him a little bit later because I realized I had not asked him why he thought we kind of shouldn't see each other anymore and he said that he felt like we weren't really connecting and that he doesn't see long term. Before all of that about a month before, I had asked him what he was looking for and he said he didn't know. I told him that I was looking for an exclusive, committed, long term relationship. He had texted my best friend asking her for advice, however did not actually get to asking her. My best friend had said that she had heard that he was going back and forth from wanting a relationship to wanting a hookup, although I'm not sure where she heard it from.
I guess right now I am in a state of confusion. I am not sure if we had a fair chance because he goes to a different college and we would only see each other once a week usually (twice at most) and would watch movies/TV shows for a big chunk of our time, or if it was on my end because I feel like I may not have been open enough. Maybe part of it was on his end? I never let him pick me up from my home or had him meet my best friends. I have been single all my life, so getting into a relationship
would be a big deal for me. I think in a way him starting with breaking it off was a relief because I feel like I am not the best that I can be yet. I have always deep down, felt afraid of being in a relationship. He has only had one girlfriend and they dated for a week his freshman year of college (he's more of a shy guy and doesn't talk very much usually unless you start first.) I'm shy too, so it's harder for me to think of conversation topics sometimes.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If he doesn't see a relationship and u guys have discussed about the break I see no reason why to worry about him. If he contacts u and says hey I would like to catch up then yeah go ahead. But if everything is over I don't understand why u should worry about him, if he wants to be friends he'll contact u.

    • But considering he is shy that may be difficult for him, if u have more confidence u can ask him but I'm not sure of the importance that has

    • Show All
    • U shouldn't try to avoid him* (OMFG AUTOCORRECT)

    • Haha autocorrect is the worst, right? 😝 You're right, I should focus on myself and enjoy life.

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What Guys Said 2

  • He seems like he just wants to party and not be tied down, which is fine, at least he told you. If he really didn't want to be in a relationship, it is probably better that you guys broke up now instead of you being led on, because it probably would've hurt you even more in the long run.

    • Do you think that sex could have played a factor? Do you think it would be a good idea to see him at a party this last part of the semester or in the future? Should I avoid him altogether?

    • You should probably avoid him altogether.

    • Thank you for your input!

  • in my education system we don't use the term softmore so I had to Google it which mean you know I'm committed to answing this properly. yes! the answer is yes !


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