My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I'm mean and don't give her the attention she deserves?

So as the title reads my girlfriend of 3 years pulled the plug on our relationship because I dodnt give her enough attention. Keep in mind these 4 things. We have a daughter together, She plays Xbox very often with dudes, she doesn't want to he "held down" by me and she doesn't want to give me a chance to change. Now this whole relationship I have done nothing but care for this girl until we got pregnant and had our daughter. My priorities changed. It was about my daughter from that point on. It hurt but I knew it needed to happen. So I did just that. I would come home to her playing Xbox and laughing like give never seen before. I never gave it thought until one night she stayed up till 4 in the morning to stay in a party chat with one dude. We weren't together at this time so I had no say and couldn't get mad or say anything. I grabbed my nuts and ignored it. Next day same thing. The next day same thing. Until 2 nights ago. She came to bed at 4:00 am as usual from talking with this one guy in particular. I knew something was up. So I slept it off until 530 am. Her phone went off repeated texts. I needed to shut it off before it woke our daughter. I did. And I instantly regretted it. I saw texts from this dude on Xbox and her. "Baby the way you clutched that game was so hot" Baby I can't wait to see you." texts from him like "When is this loser gonna leave, he has no balls" I left it and went to work like that. I got back from work, got my stuff and left that night. I stayed at a buddy's house and cried it off. Next day she calls me says she wants to talk. Asks me to be with her again I say yes and I regret it now. I'm trying to make it work now but I'm miserable but I need to be there for my daughter. I even still let her talk to this dude as friends so she can see that in trying but it hurts. I'm so torn but I still love this girl. I need any advice please.
Thanks. -Seb


Most Helpful Girl

  • Omg, no! Don't let her be friends with that guy. Dude, please, do yourself a HUGE favor, and tell her that if she keeps talking with that guy, you will break up with her.

    •You have been together for 3 years
    •You have a child, together

    It makes things even more complicated...

    That guy is ruining things for you. Talk to her. Explain what your thinking, talk like adults, sit down and break things down.

    You can't change yourself, but you can improve. Give her the attention she deserves. Have dates night together etc.

    • If I tell year to stop talking yo this ddude she will leave and I font want that. Its as if I'm her little bi*** but I just don't want a life without her and my daughter

    • Show All
    • Makes*

    • In my head my happiness doesn't matter anymore. My daughters does. Thank you so much!

Most Helpful Guy

  • you guys just need to communicate and get on the same page. you should both appreciate spending time with your daughter together. you can split the household chores so you have more time to spend together.

    perhaps you could each sit down and say the things that you're willing to change to help the relationship. you could give her the attention she deserves and she could cut back her Xbox time.

    plan something romantic together to reconnect and find things to do together :)


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What Girls Said 6

  • Wow, this really sucks. It sucks for you and it sucks for your daughter. Your partner, for lack of a better term to call her, seems very immature and not focused on keeping the family intact for your daughter.

    If you want to keep this family together for your daughter, I suggest you ask your partner if she wants the same thing. If she does, I would ask her to stop playing xbox and chatting with other dudes as a sign of good faith.

    Ask her to do it for six months and in that six months, you guys will go to couple's counseling.

    You can not keep this family together alone. Your partner needs to be on board as well. The six months should give you both time to figure out your priorities.

    Hopefully by the end of the six months your priorities align. I am not sure it will but for the sake of your daughter I hope it works out.

    Best of luck to you.

    • I've told year that and she calls me controlling but I need to he here for my daughter...

    • If she is serious about wanting to take you back, then tell her your conditions. It is her choice to decide to accommodate the conditions or not. That is not controlling; that is being a grown up.

      I wish you well. She seems young and more into herself then making a family. Which is normal for one so young but very unfortunate for your daughter. :(

      Makes me sad. Good luck to you.

    • You are awesome thank you

  • As a daughter of a dad who gave me the world even after my parents split, you're right to change your priorities. Having kids means not always doing what you want, and it seems your girlfriend wasn't ready for parenthood commitments. I know you love her, but you should decide what's best for your baby girl, which may not mean staying together. Tell her how you feel, remind her she has a daughter to raise.

  • Is it possible that when you turned all your attention on your daughter, you pushed your girlfriend away emotionally? Did the problems with your girlfriend start around that time, or were they there since the start of your relationship?

    • These problems started happening after my daughter was born

    • Show All
    • She's awful childish to feel neglected because her spouse is caring for their child and making the child the first priority. She should be doing the same thing , instead of flirting with random guys she met on Xbox. The father sounds more like a parent then the mother.

    • @xxmamichulaxx Of course the child should be their priority. However, the asker himself admitted that he turned his attention COMPLETELY on their daughter. A romantic relationship requires effort and attention to thrive, period. You can be a great parent and still give your spouse he attention they need. These two both contributed to the problems in their relationship.

  • You can be there for your daughter without having to be with her mother. She seems real childish and inconsiderate. Just focus on your daughter.

  • tell her exactly how u feel

    • Give tried but its as if I mean nothing after three years. Its always "No Sebastian"

    • maybe it's time then

  • Held down? You guys have a child together! I'm so sorry... that hurts. I can tell you were so in love with her. Do you want to get back with her? I would just focus on you and your daughter for now, if it's meant to be it's meant to be.

    • Hopefully it all works out. Thank you 😀

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