Guys, Will my husband forgive me?

I have been married almost 10 years and together 16. When my husband was working out of town I got drunk one night and when a coworker text me I allowed him to come over. I passed out for a few minutes and whe. I came to my pants were off and he was standing over me. I kicked him out immediately. I realize that it was wrong of me to put myself on that situation.
My husband thinks I was having an affair with the guy. Now he lost all respect for me and says he can never be close to me again. I have tried to apologize many times but he just hates me and seems to have moved on.

it has been 5 weeks, will he ever be able to forgive me? What should I do to prove to him I will never let anything like that happen again? How long should I wait before I give up and move on? We have 4 kids so I really want to work this out.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • gonna be a hard one dude. if i were in his shoes i'd be super pissed.

    keep trying to make things right. there isn't any one specific thing you can do that will instantly make him turn around and forgive you 100%. this anger is going to take time to dissolve. keep trying.

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    • How long should I wait till I try to really ask for his forgiveness. He won't hear me now and it has been 5 weeks.

    • everyone is different. that's why i can only say keep trying.

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What Guys Said 19

  • do it for your kids. try and try and try to make him understand what happened. kids with broken families don't do well in future. they need his support as well. since you have realised your mistake, and being a human , u r liable to make mistakes, make him understand.

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    • Thing is, it is never a mistake. It was deliberate. She invited him over.

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    • There is an off button on your phone...

    • @dogbert444 true... that's why I quit drinking- I don't think clearly. I never would have been so stupid sober.

  • Since he has lost all respect, then no. He won't be able to forgive you.

    Also to the people saying that divorced/ruined families ruins childrens future, that is not true at all. As long as the kid gets to be with both its father and mother it doesn't matter whether the family is together or not.

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    • I disagree i came from a broken home and had a fucked up life just because each parent is " around" doesn't mean things are going to work out. statistically odds are against the kids. one of the parents or both could end up with people way worse.

  • I doubt it very much. You allowed a situation to develop that was, in essence, cheating. There are no excuses. You can't ever convince him it was a one-off. He has to decide that for himself, if he can.

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  • Female perspective turn that shit around back on him he wasn't satisfied u in bed so when u were drunk ur inner need came out. he never talks to u anymore he's not romantic he isn't fun like he was when u first met the spark left then say ur sorry and say ull try harder to find whatever is missing in the marriage even if there is nothing make him think he was what u to cheat

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  • Did that guy do anything with you, sexually, or just take off your pants, and make it seem like you did, because he was too drunk to get hard?
    Either way, if you didn't consent, it is sexual assault, at least!
    If I was your husband, I would be angry that you put yourself in that place, with him, but I would be having the police investigate, and maybe press charges.
    It's a tough thing to 'forgive'. Why would he ever trust you again? What can you do to restore his trust in you, and your relationship?

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    • The guy was not drunk he just saw an opportunity. He is a bad guy.

  • regardless of what really happend ( i doubt it went the way you said it, sounds like more than what you are really telling) you put yourself in that situation. I'm guessing he found out, otherwise ignorance is bliss. and if nothing happened don't let it happen again. but back on track. You dun did fuck up. either try and make it work go to counseling. or accept what you've done since you did it and either make what you have left work or move on. if kids are involved you should do what s best for the kids not either of your selves.

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  • This is too serious for a forum. Find a professional counsellor and get to work on it. We can't possibly know you or how to help.

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  • damn dude. I don't think I could hold the grudge that long, even if she went through with it.

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    • Thanks- I really love him and we have been together since we were 18 and we r now 35. I always forgive him because we make each other happy most of the time.

  • Why you invite a Man over to drink? How do you know you only passed out a few minutes?

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    • Ide leave you too. You invited another man into his home.

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    • Well with no evidence the detective said there was no case... he was probably about to do it. He is a snake- he would have never tried anything if I wasn't drunk.

    • Don't need a car for a restraining order just fear for your safety

  • Damn that sucks. You may need to get a divorce if he never moves on from it.

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  • See a therapist.

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  • Hopefully not. You sucked another guys dink

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  • How did he find the incident out, by the way?

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  • He was out of order undressing you

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  • Why did have to drink that much to passout? This is a tough spot you are in now and it will be very hard to convince your husband that nothing happened and even if he believes you he will be more cautious in future which might affect your marriage more.

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  • I went through something similar 6 months ago with my wife. No I haven't forgiven her and I will never trust her.

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    • But u stayed? Why?

    • I didn't stay. We are waiting for the one year separation period to elapse. We also have children.

  • I would of divorce you

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    • Even if there was a chance u would be happy again? If u knew that this was ur one true love? Would u really want to move on and see her marry someone else and make him happy by being a great wife?

    • I won't consider her to be great since she invited a coworker over, while she was drunk. besides you must be had sex with the guy and can't remember

  • Well, you shouldn't have let the guy come over in the first place.. that's inappropriate. He may be more pissed at that. You really need to talk it out.

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    • I agree- he said I should have told him the first time the guy was texting me not about work.

  • If it was me, I would divorce the woman and take primary custody of the kids for something like that.

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    • U really think that is a reason to throw it all away? He makes mistakes too and I forgive him. No marriage is perfect but it is supposed to be for better or worse. I am truly sorry and I don't think we would end up happy in the future apart.

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    • Did u or ur wife get remarried?

    • I haven't and I never intend to again. I will only have a long term relationship if I find the right person, but not be legally married.
      I don't know about her because I've never talked to her sense.

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