How to let my husband know I want to leave him?

Hi all, I have been married for 10 years with this guy.. it was a completely arranged marriage by my parents ( we don't have the option of dating or love marriage in my country/religion) I am in the US now and have a kid with him ( the kid is US citizen) so I think if I leave him I may not have visa problems.. not sure though. But my issue is no one in his family including him respects me or my feelings , I am treated like a dirt.. I put up with all that all these years now I am working and pretty confident and independent and have confidence if I leave him I can survive ( but my parents are totally against this and will not support me).. I started showing disinterest in him few weeks back and he has gotten a clue and started to say I love u and trying to help.. but I know that once I am back to normal he will go back to being himself.. if I tell him I am done with him he will make a big scene and make me quit my job and threatens to send me back to my home country.. how can I subtly let him know I am done wth him without any problems?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Here's the thing... since you are living in the US now, he cannot send you back to your home country. You are a free woman--not his property, and not under his control. Keep your job, and file for divorce. Ask for joint custody of your child. Apply for an extended work visa if you need to.

    • 😊 thank you for giving me more confidence.. I am building up my strength.. he is also
      Planning to call his parents here for visiting and now that he knows I am ignition he wants me to have another child with him so I will stick to him and get fat again.. he is also very insecure I have to act pretty quick..

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    • I don't think I would say anything at all for now. Start saving some money and making plans. Go about your business as though nothing had changed. Or maybe tell him you appreciate the help and you would appreciate being respected as well. See where it goes.

    • All my money is handled by him.. so I don't even know what I have he controls everything in my life even the way I have to dress 😕.. I have gotten much. Enter and at least started dressing better these days.. I have gotten so much compliments from my workplace even other guys are noticing me now everywhere and so my husband is feeling even more insecure now..

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't believe in being"subtle". say what you mean and how you feel. you don't have to be an ass about it, but be forward.

    • That's true but I don't want him causing a big scene and trouble

    • I understand that, but you can be clear about what you're saying and be nice about it too.
      but I wouldn't just tell someone,"I'm done, and I've never been happy" without actually saying to "Your Spouse"(the person you have a child with) before hand and not trying to work it out first. I'm not presuming to know what's going on... I'm just saying...

    • I have tried.. he tells me I need to adjust and live.. if I start telling anything more he just gets mad and starts yelling.. now I am ignoring him and even then he does not try asking me what's going on..

  • sounds like you may need a safe house or similar help... I don't get that these are nice people

    • :) yea him and his family are horrible people having two faces playing double game all the time

    • thought that might be the case. personalities follow basic patterns. good luck

  • just tell him.. you've given each other 10 years.. honesty is always the best policy.

  • There are places to just leave and disappear.

    • I have a kid studying and she loves her dad.. if it was that easy I would have done that.. thanks though

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    • What's up with that? Must be getting something elsewhere. Or he is gay...

    • I have no idea

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